AUTHOR'S NOTE: You do not have to have read the Denny's Cycle stories in order to figure this out, but you will get a feeling for the background if you do. This is sort of a non-continuation. The result of poor planning and WAY too much coffee. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Do it because I'm obnoxious.
 
 

"Damn!" Dana Scully swatted her leg and gave her partner a disgusted look. "Why can't anybody die mysteriously in Palm Springs?" She held out her hand for his inspection. A cat-sized mosquito and a small quantity of blood were smeared on her palm.

"Somebody did, actually," Fox Mulder said, looking away. "I got the item the other day. An elderly woman drowned in her swimming pool."

"What's so mysterious about that?"

"Her husband saw something grab her leg."

She raised a brow. "Was there some kind of insurance settlement involved, by any chance?"

"You're so cynical, Scully." She smacked her arm. "I think there's some Deep Woods Off in the car, if you want it."

"That stuff bleaches my panty hose."

He held up his hands. "If you'd rather be a dead woman with no blood and attractive hosiery than a live one with a big lingerie budget, it's none of my business."

The forensics team milled around the area, sealing some things off and bagging others. The lot of them were ensconced in the Pike National Forest in Colorado. A hiker had discovered a corpse that had been mauled almost beyond recognition, the third of its kind. Mulder and Scully had been brought in because nobody seemed to be able to identify the animal responsible for the mutilation. And witnesses had seen... something.

The area was dark, and cool, and swarming with mosquitoes. From the looks of things, every mosquito in North America had been informed of Scully's arrival. They swarmed around her like Mulder had sometimes seen bees swarm. The seemed hell-bent on skeletonizing his partner, but they left him alone.

"How do you suppose she got here, Scully?"

"She wasn't dressed for a walk, that's for sure."

"Sleepwalking?"

"That's quite a trek, Mulder." It had taken them over an hour to reach the site by car. "No tire tracks before ours, no signs of dragging..."

"Maybe somebody carried her."

"Someone abducted her from her bed, carried her sixty miles out of town into the forest, then set the dogs on her?"

"It wasn't dogs, Scully," he said faintly.

"What are you suggesting?"

He met her eyes, thinking. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

Mulder wandered away from her. The only sounds in the forest were those created by the forensics team. A damp, soil smell permeated the air. He was about to speak when he heard it. He turned around. "Is that a car?"

"This area was supposed to be sealed off," Scully said, glaring at the sheriff.

The two of them ran in the direction of the noise and stopped when they spotted its source. A blue Ford Escort station wagon was speeding toward them. It showed no signs of slowing down.

"Federal agent! Stop the car!" The car skidded in the pine needles that carpeted the ground and came to a halt. Both agents drew their weapons.

"Get out of the car!"

A spindly young man emerged, dressed in jeans and a Trainspotting t-shirt. His hair was an unnatural shade of blonde. "I didn't do anything!"

"What are you doing here?" Mulder said, patting him down.

"Making a delivery, man. I swear."

"A delivery for who?"

He dug into his hip pocket and produced a slip of paper. "Fox Mulder," he said.

Mulder's stomach bottomed out. Oh, Christ. Here it was. The moment he'd been waiting for. Dreading. "What is it?"

"It's in the car."

"Go get it."

He came back with a plain cardboard box. "Here you go."

Mulder held the box gingerly, but did not open it. It was a little big, but that didn't mean anything special...

"Mulder?"

"Can I go now?"

"Wait a minute." He stared at the box, willing himself to develop x-ray vision. His memories assailed him. Denny's Family Restaurant, AD Walter Skinner, the best sex of his life, and the son of a bitch with the mini-cam. He could still feel Walter's hands on him, rough, demanding, so arousing... Part of him cursed his memory, and part of him blessed it. He was tormented by these scenes, again and again, yes, but it was a damn sight better than what he was experiencing now.

The incident had really spooked his lover. Walter wouldn't even make eye contact with him now except to glare at him. No phone calls. No smooching. Absolutely no copping of feels. To Mulder's mind, it was too

late now to worry about discretion. You screw a man in a public bathroom, you might as well have it simulcast on the Jumbotron in New York as hope you don't get caught. A fucking Denny's bathroom. Denny's bathrooms were probably the most popular bathrooms in the universe. Their food could make a decent bulimic of anyone. As much as he had enjoyed it, it had not been one of his more brilliant ideas.

"Mulder, I'll open it for you if you like."

"No..." His crazy side hoped it was a video tape of their adventure.

The way things were looking with the real Walter, he might never have another chance to go to bed with him. He looked up. Scully was glaring at him. The delivery boy looked about ready to soil himself. Mulder tore open the box.

He blinked. "Bear claws?" The box was not precisely the right size for a video, but it was perfect for half a dozen donuts, which was what he held. He glared at the boy. "These are for me?"

"That's what the order said."

"Who placed it?"

"I don't know, man. Some guy. He paid in cash."

"What did he look like?"

"I don't know. I was in the back."

He looked back at the box. Who the hell even knew where he was just then but the people who were assembled there? "You were told to come here? Here specifically?"

"Yeah, all right? Look, I don't know anything."

"Scully, you got a buck?" She gave him another strange look, but fished one out for him. He handed it to the boy. "Get lost," he said. The boy scrambled to get back in the car and sped off even faster than he'd come.

"You think there's a connection?"

"I don't know. They're bear claws. Maybe it's a sign."

"Thank God he didn't send you the ones that look like tractor tires."

He gave her a thoughtful look. "Whoever did it had to know I was coming here before I did." He felt displaced somehow. This was so different from what he'd expected that he was poleaxed. "I don't even like bear claws."
 
 

"If you'll examine the photographs, sir, you'll notice the unusual nature of the wounds," Scully said, sliding the crime scene photos across Walter's desk.

He squinted. "Looks like cougar to me."

"Not quite, sir. The degree of mutilation and the pattern of the claw marks suggest something larger, something stronger."

"Which would be what, Agent Scully?"

"Some of the locals reported seeing catlike humanoids in the forest at night, Mulder said.

The AD nailed him with a look. "You're telling me that this," he said, tapping the photographs, "is the work of rampaging were-beasts?"

"Skexies, sir."

"What?"

"The folklore refers to them as 'Skexies.'"

"And you theorize that they broke into Marcella Carroll's house, abducted her, and carried her into the forest for a blood sacrifice?"

His eyes never left Mulder's, barely blinked. His voice was calm. It ran over him like honey. And Mulder wanted nothing more in that moment but to usher Scully out of the room and let Walter lick it off. All the same, he knew this side of the AD as few did. He and Scully were about to get it good. The only way out was to fake a heart attack. Otherwise, before Mulder finished giving his report, Walter would rip him apart so viciously that people in offices three floors down would be giving him sympathetic looks for days. The man had a flair.

"Apparently, Ms. Carroll exhibited some unusual behavior prior to her disappearance," Scully said, trying to draw the bull away from its target. Brave woman. "She had taken to eating raw hamburger. Her companion told me Ms. Carroll also began roaming the house naked. Sleeping during the day."

"Uh--" Mulder cleared his throat. "Her behavior was consistent with that of several people who've disappeared from the region in the last ten years."

"You think she was one of them? Your Skexies?"

Hoo boy. Here it comes. "It would appear so, sir."

"Do you have a theory as to why her supposed kinsmen ripped her to pieces?"

"Well--"

"Do you have a theory as to how she got that far into the forest barefoot and wearing only her nightgown?"

"Sir--" Mulder began. Before he could say anything else, Scully leaped from her chair and bolted from the room. Neither man spoke. It wasn't as dramatic as the heart attack thing, but it would have to do. "Sir, do you--"

"Go." Mulder sprang from his seat, offering his thanks if not to God, then at least to the Fates. Right at that moment, he didn't care if Scully was pregnant with demon spawn. He was just grateful to be sprung.

"Agent Mulder?"

"Sir?"

"This meeting is not over yet. I want both of you back here as soon as possible."

"Even if I have to wheel Scully in on a gurney, sir, I'll be back."

Walter sighed. "All I get from you is insubordination."

Mulder started to say something, then changed his mind. Walter would come around eventually. He had to. Mulder just hadn't figured out how to make him do it, yet. He made it to the ladies' room in record time.

"Scully?" He knocked on the door. She didn't answer. "Scully, come on. If somebody sees me here, there's going to be a scandal. People are going to think we're getting it on." He waved at some guy from accounting as he passed by. "Scully, I'm going to tell someone you're having my baby if you don't answer me, at least."

With a world-weary sigh, he pushed open the door and walked inside.

Public bathrooms gave him the heebie-jeebies lately. The last time he'd been in the girls' bathroom was after a Boy Scout's meeting at his elementary school. Things hadn't changed all that much, he reflected. The sinks were situated higher against the wall. Hand-drying technology had certainly improved.

"Scully?"

"I'm fine, Mulder."

"Skinner is waiting for me to bring you back."

"I have to go home."

"You aren't pregnant, are you?"

"Maybe. I had the strangest dream the other night."

"If you're well enough to make fun of me, you can damn well come back to this meeting." One of the stalls opened and Scully stepped out. In the fluorescent lighting, her skin had a faint bluish cast to it. Her walk was uneven. her hair was mussed. "Hm," he said. "Maybe not."

"What did you do to him, anyway?"

His throat went dry. "What-- uh, what do you mean?"

"What do I mean? The man is in a permanent rage, Mulder. I'm amazed he hasn't called me at home to call me a name that slipped his mind at the office."

"It'll pass. Probably."

"That's terrific, Mulder. And in the meantime our AD can enroll his entire clerical department in stress management classes and you can continue to deplete the world's oxygen supply with your incessant sighing."

He blinked. "I've been sighing?"

"You have no idea. You--" her eyes widened and she disappeared into her stall again.

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that you aren't a noisy retcher?"

"Mulder," she groaned.

"Yeah?"

"Go away."

"I'll give you a lift home."

"That's not--" Silence. "Okay."
 
 

By the time he got back to the J. Edgar Hoover building, Mulder had been gone almost two hours. Every time he passed a large truck heading in the opposite direction on the drive back, he entertained a fantasy about swerving into its path. If he was very lucky, Walter would only have him castrated. If not... it wasn't hard to imagine the AD as Pinhead, decked out in a leather jerkin and snarling "Your suffering will be legendary."

He dragged his feet all the way back to Walter's office. When the AD's assistant spotted him, she gave him a look of patent dismay.

"Where's Dana?"

"I took her home. Flu."

"You're a dead man," she said.

Mulder raked his hair. ""Well, at least I'll go out in a blaze of glory."

Her intercom buzzed. "Yes, sir?"

"Is that Agent Mulder?"

She shot him a look. He started to inch away. "Yes, sir."

"Send him in."

"Yes, sir." She patted Mulder's arm. "I'll notify payroll."

"Never forget, Kim. You have the guys in accounting, but I have a gun." He opened the door to Walter's office quietly and shuffled inside. He didn't much like playing the submissive, but Walter was waiting for a reason to strike, and he wasn't about to give him one. The tension was damn near unbearable. Walter would fix him with a glare that was meant to be intimidating, and he would be left with a raging erection that lasted way too long. A harsh word, which once would have gotten his back up, now made him whimper inwardly. He was going to start begging soon, he could tell.

Whether he knew it or not, Walter was the most merciless cock-teaser Mulder had ever encountered.

"Agent Mulder. If I'm not mistaken, I sent you out of this office almost three hours ago on the condition that you retrieve Agent Scully."

"I took her home, sir. She's got the flu."

"I see. When did she move to Kansas?"

"She asked me to pick up some groceries."

He gave the agent a look of interest. "Is it double coupon day?"

His face burned. Oh God, Walter, come on... "They had a hell of a deal on tuna, sir."

"Agent Mulder--"

"I wasn't dogging it, all right? I took her home and I bought her some fucking groceries. I didn't go to a matinee, I didn't stop for lunch, and I wasn't involved in a hold up."

"Mulder--"

"I said I'd come back, and I did. I'm sorry I didn't jump through any burning hoops to get here, but I'll be frank with you, sir, I wasn't all that anxious to get back."

"Mulder--"

"I'm willing to accept that you're tense and you're riding my ass more than usual, but I'm just as fucking tense as you are and I'd rather have you really ride my ass than have you put me through this goddamned caning every time I open my mouth."

"Will you shut up for a minute, for Christ's sake?"

"What?" Ooh, smooth, Mulder. And people said there was no evidence to support the occurrence of demonic possession.

"Mulder--" This time Walter was interrupted not by Mulder, but by a knock on the door. Expelling an angry breath, he crossed the room swiftly and threw open the door. Kim stood in the doorway, looking petrified and carrying a medium-sized cardboard box.

"I have a delivery for Agent Mulder, sir. The delivery man said it was urgent." Mulder took the box and let Walter trap him in the office.

"Aren't you going to open it?"

"No."

"If it's urgent--"

"It's not."

"I'll tell you what, Agent Mulder," he said, collapsing in his chair. "If it's urgent enough to warrant interrupting our meeting, I want you to open it."

Mulder fixed him with a stare. "Is that an order, sir?"

"It is now."

With a heavy heart, Mulder opened the box. An even dozen crullers nestled inside.

"Donuts?"

"Donuts," he agreed. That settled one thing, anyway. Walter wasn't sending them.

"I was interrupted for an urgent donut delivery?"

"I bet you skipped lunch, didn't you?"

Walter turned red in the face, and all hell broke loose.
 
 

"Give me the keys, you fucking cocksucker."

Mulder sighed. Saturday night, he wasn't out of town, and the most exciting thing he could come up with was Jiffy Pop and The Usual Suspects. Not that it wasn't a great movie, but those guys all had too damn much hair for what he was in the mood for just then. Only Gabriel Byrne was even somewhat attractive to him. Talk about a lot of hair.

The odd thing was, he thought until those fucking donuts arrived that he'd actually gotten through to his lover. It was frustrating. The man had all but burst a blood vessel, and Mulder's own anger had vanished as mysteriously as it had come. He could only stand there and let Walter scald him about respect, consideration, professionalism, world hunger, cancer, the ozone layer... Why couldn't the man say what he meant?

He blamed Mulder for their predicament. Not only was it his fault for inviting Walter to screw him in the Denny's handicapped access stall, he was also responsible for the fact that the AD had been unable to resist. And Mulder had not even been in top form that day.

"It was the cops' fault. You don't put five guys like that in a room together."

Mulder snickered in spite of himself. He had seen this movie several times, and he had always thought Fenster and McManus were unusually close. Huh. Huh-huh. He said "cocksucker."

Jiffy Pop and a video. He looked at the clock. Twelve thirty. In a perfect world, he'd be on his stomach in Walter's bed by now. In this world, however, he was alone, a little horny, bored, and the victim of some crazed donut stalker. He wasn't convinced that Scully's illness wasn't related somehow. He hadn't eaten any of the bear claws, but she had. So had the sheriff and Desmond from forensics. Was it too late to call them? The thought had scarcely formed in his head when the phone rang.

"Mulder."

"Can you come over?"

"What, you forgot to tell me about how your dad can beat up my dad?"

"Someone's left a package on my doorstep."

"What is it?"

"A videotape. I think it was meant for you."

"Why do you say that?"

"I haven't watched much of it, but it's porn."

Mulder smiled. "You're calling me up in the middle of the night to invite me over to your place to watch a skin flick?"

"Forget it."

"Walter, wait! Wait, I'll come."

"I don't want to put you out."

"Don't be a prick. I'm on my way."

"Fine."

"Walter?"

"What?"

"Wear something frilly, okay?" The AD hung up.
 
 

Mulder was still knocking on Walter's door when it swung open. The AD wore jeans and a shirt he hadn't bothered to button. Bastard. This was the last straw, Mulder thought. If Walter tried to send him away tonight, he was going to beg for the first time in years. Walter's body language was all rejection, in spite of his highly inviting attire. Arms crossed over his chest, he stood stiffly, giving Mulder his very best forbidding glare.

"Agent Mulder."

He smirked. "Assistant Director Skinner."

"You want something to drink?"

"Wine?"

"I'll get it. Don't move." He said it almost angrily, stalking away.

Mulder had taken care preparing for this visit, and the time had obviously been worth it. He was a stud puppy and he knew it. A little smile, a little touch... Walter was on the verge. It wouldn't take much to bring him back to the Dark Side.

"I think this is the first time you've ever obeyed me, Mulder."

"I'm not stupid, Walter. You probably know how to kill a man using only two fingers."

Walter massaged his neck. "I've been a little harsh lately."

"Just a little."

"There's a rumor going around that Agent Scully poisoned herself to get away from me for a while."

"Guess who started it?" Mulder smiled gently, moving closer. He could feel the heat of the AD's skin. "Walter..."

He broke away and led Mulder to the living room. "Whoever left the video waited until I'd just fallen asleep."

"At least you're still sleeping," the agent muttered.

Walter turned on the TV and seated himself in a chair. Mulder sighed dramatically and relaxed, sipping his wine.

There were no credits, and there was no "story." The video was a compilation of sorts, a greatest hits collection of come shots, blow jobs, and three-ways, gay, straight, and bi. Whoever had made this had cut directly from one video to the next, with no lead-ins or fade-outs. It was disjointed and nearly comical. Mulder had seen episodes of Matlock that were sexier than this.

"Fast forward, Walter." For a minute it was more of the same, hyperactive. And that was comical. But then... "Wait. Go back."

The AD did so, and suddenly the two of them were looking at a hand-written title card reading Denny's Does Dallas: An FBI Production.

"Oh Jesus."

Starring Fox "Manhandler" Mulder.

"Now that's cheesy."

Also starring Walter "Slip Me Some" Skinner.

"Can't we just watch Jenny Jones?"

The opening shot was a panoramic view of the Denny's parking lot. Hokey pan flute was dubbed over the noise of traffic. The camera panned across the parking lot to show Mulder and Walter heading inside. The picture faded out, and faded in to reveal the two of them chatting over meals of questionable nutritional value. Video Mulder got up and staggered out of the frame.

"Walter, do we have to watch this?"

He raised a brow. "You find the subject matter distasteful?"

"Strangely enough, I do." He looked at the screen. Video Walter commenced with stealing Mulder's fries. "I wondered about that," he said.

Video Walter got up and headed for the bathroom. Fade-out.

The camera panned across the men's room and came to rest on the handicapped-access stall. The pan flute faded out. Mulder could be clearly heard moaning ecstatically, calling out Walter's name.

"I told you you were too loud." A close-up on the crack in the door caught Walter's naked ass and Mulder's head over the AD's shoulder.

"Gratuitous butt shot," Mulder said.

The camera moved into the next stall, a little bumpy now as the cameraman mounted the toilet. And then, there they were: Walter rutting against Mulder as if the fate of the planet hung in the balance, Mulder bucking against him, his cast skidding on the tile.

"That was fun, though, wasn't it?" he said quietly.

"Yeah."

Video Mulder came, hard and loud. His head fell back, and his eyes opened, and the screen blacked out. After a second, the picture was filled with Scooby-Doo.

"Was there anything with it? A note, anything?"

"Just the video."

"Goddamn it. What's the point?"

"To put a scare into us, maybe."

"Well, he's certainly fucking succeeded at that," Mulder said, pacing. "It took extortion to get an invitation out of you, and I wasn't even sleeping when you called. And this wasn't an invitation, was it?"

"No."

"Walter, this is crazy. I hate this, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Somebody already knows. Whether we're together or not, it's pointless. If he wants to out us, it's done."

Ah yes. Full begging mode. How very admirable. He crossed to the window, taking deep breaths. This didn't have to be a fiasco. Not any more of one, anyway. When he turned back to face Walter again, he gave his lover a warm smile.

"Oh no you don't," Walter said.

"Yes."

"No."

Mulder approached him slowly, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. "Enough is enough. You can't call me over here in the middle of the night looking like that and expect me to behave."

"Agent Mulder--"

"Don't Agent Mulder me." He dropped his shirt and draped himself over Walter's lap. "My friends call me 'Manhandler.'"

"With friends like that--"

Mulder seized his head in both hands and plunged his tongue between Walter's teeth. The AD moaned helplessly, shifting his hips, trying to keep his erection from grinding into Mulder's ass. But the agent was on to him, and moved his own hips accordingly. He slid his tongue into Walter's ear and was rewarded with a yelp.

"I'm going to lose it right now," the AD complained.

"That's what's wrong with you, Walter. No restraint." Mulder shimmied out of his pants and tossed them aside.

"My problem?"

Mulder started to go to work on Walter's pants. He paused. "This is an interesting logistical problem."

"It's a sign. Get off me."

"Your mouth says no," he said in his best Pepe Le Peu voice, "But your eyes, they say yesss."

"I'm in love with the village idiot," Walter muttered. But he didn't dump Mulder on the floor.

"Borderline retarded men are the hottest. I always knew you liked 'em big and stupid." He slid out of Walter's lap and knelt between his legs.

The AD lifted his hips, and Mulder tugged his jeans off. He was naked beneath them.

"Ooh, this was an invitation." He stroked Walter's thighs. Now that he had him, he didn't know what to do first. The agent kissed his way along the inside of Walter's thigh, alternately licking and biting, purring inside. When he got to the AD's cock, he hesitated.

"Do you still want me to stop?"

Walter gave him an incredulous look. "Do you really want to find out if I can kill a man with two fingers?" Mulder's mouth closed over him. The AD sucked in a breath. "Ohhh... yes..."

Mulder felt his lover's hands clench in his hair, trying to guide him, to hurry him. But he'd waited weeks for this, and he wasn't about to rush now. He massaged Walter's balls and licked his way down to the root, dragging his teeth along the underside on the way back. He took the head into his mouth and sucked it mercilessly, stroking the shaft just so...

"Mulder... no..."

He stopped abruptly. "No?" Any lingering doubts he may have had about Walter's continued agility were dispelled. He became The Flash, just for an instant, and Mulder found himself lying on his back with his legs over the AD's shoulders.

"I think I just experienced missing time."

Walter thrust slowly inside him. With only his saliva and the AD's pre-ejaculate for lubrication, it wasn't an easy fit, but Mulder didn't particularly care. He arched his back and moaned happily. "Yes."

There was a knock on the door. Walter's head shot up. "No."

"Goddamn it! Just ignore it, Walter," he said desperately. The AD pulled out and scrambled into his jeans. "Walter, come on..."

"Go upstairs. I'll take care of it."

"Fuck."

"Go."

Mulder collected his clothing and mounted the stairs. After a brief consideration, he decided to hole up in the bedroom. He dumped his clothing on the floor and leapt on to the bed. He had only just settled into the blankets when Walter appeared in the doorway.

He smirked. "You don't give up easily, do you?"

"Come here."

"Not that I wouldn't like to, but it seems our midnight caller is looking for you."

Mulder was disgusted. "Is he by any chance carrying a cardboard box?"

"It's funny you should ask."

Mulder grabbed his slacks and staggered into them on his way out the door, muttering under his breath.

"Mulder."

"He's the next man off your balcony, Walter, I swear to God." He thundered down the stairs. The delivery boy stood in Walter's doorway, looking like he wished he'd stayed in school.

"Mister Mulder?"

"Who do you work for?"

"Dunkin Donuts, sir."

"Who placed this order?"

"I don't know."

"Right." He dug around in his pockets and came up with a dollar. "Here. Now fuck off."

"I--"

"There's another hundred in it for you if you refuse to serve that guy the next time he comes in. "Mulder shoved him into the hallway and slammed the door shut. He swung around to find Walter opening one of the boxes."

"How many are there?"

"Two dozen, looks like."

"Don't touch them. I'm going to have them analyzed."

He smirked. "You're going to send two dozen long johns down to the lab and expect them to analyze them?"

"Where was Kim yesterday?"

"Home sick again."

"What did you do with the last batch of donuts?"

"You think somebody's sending you tainted pastry?"

"You have a better explanation?"

"Half the bureau is out with the flu right now, Mulder. I didn't see Jesus handing out your donuts."

"I'm having them analyzed," he said firmly.

"All right, all right. But you can't do it now." He pulled Mulder into his arms. Off came the agent's pants. "Let's go back upstairs."

"Fuck the donuts," he said.