Wouldn't you know it? I start a new job in a new office full of new people--and get all-new germs in the bargain!
*snif*
A head cold. How pathetic.
But I'm not letting that spoil my fun, nossir. I'm still enjoying having a job, and still enjoying having this job in particular. As usual, I'm already taking a look at the work with an eye to how it can all be made easier. (Making a big fuss and looking overwhelmed might be better job security but I'm really too lazy to actually work hard.)
For instance, there's this process--loading a new account. I did one last week and it took a solid eight hours of work. Ridiculous.
I talked to Webnetters, who own the software, got a software program I could use to work offline (always faster than updating online) along with a user manual (except that Real Men don't use manuals), dinked around with one-by-one updates for three days, then went back in to the source file data I was given when I started working here and reformatted it all to allow for mass importing.
Yesterday I loaded a new account in an hour. Today I messed around with the program and my files a little more and I just finished loading another new account--in fifteen minutes.
Waits politely for the applause to die down....
It's a good thing I streamlined the process--Gidget told me a little while ago that I'll have 5 new accounts to load in the next few days.
Mind you, this is all still the basic "work" of the job. I haven't gotten to the "strategic thinking" level because it was assumed that I had a rough 60 days in front of me, cleaning up the existing accounts, before I'd be ready to do anything else. (I'm thinking I might be ready a b it sooner than that.)
So, what else is new, I hear you asking.
Well, Monday evening I went out to my car after work only to discover that I'd left my headlights on that morning. 6 phone calls (four to find someone willing to come and give me a jumpstart, one to my hairdresser rescheduling my now-impossible appointment, and one to the R.C. just to complain about how I'm an idiot), 40 minutes, and $50 later, I crawled into my little comfy chair in my little apartment and swore never to leave again.
Tonight there's supposed to be a lunar eclipse. If the sky is clear, I'm going to go look at it. The sky isn't supposed to be clear, though.
Whaddya want from me? I've been working. I haven't had time to go out and do anything fun or interesting. If it didn't take five minutes for this program to upload my changes, I wouldn't be blogging at work anyhow.
It's not that I don't want to chat with you. I just--I hab a code id by dose and it makes it hard to think.
Today I have learnt how to do reports. (You click on the tab that says, "Reports" and choose the things you want to include from the list provided.) Me big smart!
Then I combined a couple of spreadsheets that each listed a few hundred lines of competing suggestions, making them into a single list with recommendations for which ideas to adopt. Although this was not a difficult task, it garnered me an extraordinary number of brownie points.
(I'm still not a fan of Vista, but I'm honest enough to admit that when I realized that I could de-dupe a spreadsheet with two clicks of the mouse, I was just a teensy bit impressed.) (I still miss my customizable menu bar.)
I also taught Gidget the wonders of "search and replace" in Excel. I tried to be polite, but I can't bear watching someone work laboriously through some mechanical task. This, also, garnered me an inordinate number of brownie points.
For the past couple of days, I've been working on three of the first 20 accounts they have ready for me. Today, before she left for the day, Gidget handed over the other 17 accounts. A testament to how well I'm doing, I guess.
My job will require me to spend about 60% of my time on this basic process, so it's good to be getting familiar with it. Another 30% of my time will be spent on the "strategic thinking which is the "intermediate process." Gidget is going to teach me that on Monday--in between meetings. My remaining time will be divided between the "advanced" process (monthly reports), occasional email updates to people in the field, occasional calls from other people in the field and, yes, meetings.
Sigh.
Meetings have always been a thing I prefer to do without. I always say I can either spend my time talking about what needs to be done, or doing what needs to be done, but I don't have time for both. In my desire to turn over a new leaf, I'm going to try to adopt the attitude that it all pays the same, whether I'm doing anything productive or not.
Gidget scoffed at the idea of a 4-hour orientation session, though, and only scheduled me for 2 hours. She says she never went through any orientation and it hasn't slowed her down in the last three years. That's my kind of supervisor!
Actually, I was having so much fun today I forgot to watch the clock for quitting time! That's saying something, on a Friday afternoon.
Yes, I'm still very excited. Not only is there the promise of Income in my future, the daily process of just having a job is proving to be interesting. Working is so educational!
The main thing I have learned so far?
Windows Vista. Sucks.
Or maybe it's just Word & Excel 97, I can't be certain because this computer has all of them and I haven't worked with any of them before.
But I'm assuming it's Vista. Which sucks. To a degree that's really just inexcusable, unless we assume that Microsoft, tired of everyone dissing them after they made using a computer easy for even the most clueless Luddite, decided to get their revenge.
In place of the simple, user-friendly menu bar, they've created a "ribbon." Which means nothing except that they renamed everything, moved it all around, and then hid it all behind rollover code. The only time-efficient way to find anything is to use the "help" function constantly--but watch out. When it tells you where to look for a function, it doesn't always use the same keywords that the menu items use.
If you're more generous than me, feel free to decide that Microsoft thought we'd all enjoy a treasure hunt through a new and impenetrable menu system.
I spent 10 minutes today cursing and searching every place I could find for a way to "strikeover" text in Excel. Three times, in fact, because even once I found it, it was so counterintuitive that I instantly forgot it.
And then there's Internet Explorer. Again, not my computer, it's a loaner laptop, so it's hard to figure out what's an annoying or badly designed feature and what's just garbage that the laptop's owner has either installed deliberately or has never bothered to remove.
As I recall, once upon a time I downloaded the latest incarnation of Explorer and then uninstalled it 10 minutes later because it was such a mess. I'm not enjoying being forced to work with it again, even temporarily. Computerwise, I'm a minimalist. I slice my customizable menu bars down to the bare minimum I need to do 90% of my normal tasks. I turn off every screen-hogging program I can turn off. My IE is set to open to a blank page when I start it up. When it comes to computers, I'm all about decluttering.
Using this laptop (although it's an expensive beast, I can tell) is driving me bonkers.
On the plus side, they came and set up my "new" PC today--the relic of some departed employee. I don't care that it's not "new" though. They tell me it has XP on it, and that's enough to make me happy. (I'd almost forgotten that monitors that aren't flat-screen were still in use. I spent some time staring at the stegosaurus-sized doorstop today, before I realized I should get back to work.)
Sadly, I turned back to the laptop. Because, you see, I'm not allowed to use the PC. I don't know what kind of pitfalls and perils await me, but I was told I'd have to attend two four-hour training sessions next week, and I'm not allowed to use "my" computer until I've finished the first one. Promises to be exciting, no?
I mean, how can someone need four hours of training and orientation before they're allowed to turn their computer on? But she told me it's SOP, so I'll have to put up with it. My one hope is that since (as far as I know) I'm the only one in the "training session" we'll be able to move faster than she anticipates.
The people are uniformly pleasant, even friendly. I haven't figured out anyone's name, except the one guy who helped me with my HR paperwork. It doesn't help that the office was full of visitors today and will be full of another set tomorrow.
Still. My job consists 90% of sitting at my own computer working on the franchises' ad programs, so there's no rush for me to learn anything but the software I need.
Don't let the whining fool you--I'm having fun.
Formal offer of employment extended and accepted!
Yesterday was Ruthless's birthday and Meghan took her out to lunch. I went along. I wanted to help take Ruthless to lunch, but extortion happened and that can really empty out your wallet.
You see, what happened was, I was driving to lunch and Megan called me because she had a flat tire and needed to be picked up. So, I exited the interstate and, with the help of four phone calls from her, finally found the hole-in-the-wall tire repair place she'd wound up at.
We're standing around, waiting on the guys to finish mounting the replacement tire she picked out (I waited with her to make sure she hadn't bent her rim by driving on a flat), when one of them, this very young guy, rushes up to her, all excited and wants to know how she's going to pay. Credit card, she tells him. He's disappointed. His accent is kind of thick, but she grasps that he's asking her doesn't she have cash? She offers him a check. Can she pay part in cash, he wants to know.
Confused, she starts digging for cash. I have a $20 bill, so I give it to her and she gives it to him. His face lights up and he stuffs it into his pocket. She can pay the rest by credit card or check, however she wants.
Why did you need cash, she finally thinks to ask him.
Lunch, he tells her.
I've never been extorted for cash for a job before, so that a company's staff could afford to eat. I'm guessing we're the only customers they'd had all day. Possibly all week.
Anyhow. What with one thing and another, we were 20 minutes late meeting Ruthless, who was sitting in a restaurant, waiting for us.
When we arrive, she said that the restaurant staff was starting to think she didn't really have friends--that she just wandered into restaurants and sat around eating free bread and butter and looking pathetic. Our friendships being what they are, we just laughed at her.
We ate. We chatted. I laughed, as they admitted that on Friday, after we all had dinner and I went home to watch SGA, they wound up skipping the mad drinkin' and dancin' evening they'd been bragging about.
Turns out that, like me, they find events that don't even get going until 10:00pm are starting to be just a little later at night than they're willing to stay awake for. Hee.
After the obligatory free birthday dessert (pineapple-upsidedown cake), the three of us wandered down to a funky used bookstore in the area and spent some time browsing. I could have spent a hundred bucks or more, easy, but I restrained myself.
After all, it's not like I have a job.
Oh--did I forget to mention that? The aforementioned (and afore-celebrated) job offer? Has not quite materialized. Yet.
I was supposed to get an offer letter. The only thing I actually got was a request to provide references and an ensuing, deafening silence.
Peculiar as it might seem, it almost appears as though I was the only person interviewed for the job and I have still somehow failed to secure the position.
I'm almost smug about that. Not everyone can achieve unemployablility (it could be a word) to that extent. It's almost epic, I think!
Sigh.
Other than that, recent good news includes the fact that the tax bill I've been talking about is not, after all, something we need to worry about paying.
I think I'll go toast my toes in the morning sunshine for a while.