Today's breakfast: a ham-and-cheese omelet and a couple of apple slices. Thanks to the inventors of frozen food and microwaves. Granted, this is a pricey breakfast. I could eat an egg and a whole apple for 50 cents. Choosing pre-sliced apples and a frozen omelet makes this more like a $2 breakfast.
I'm on the receiving end of a certain amount of mockery for bringing in carrot chips and apple slices for snack foods for the office, but I notice people actually are eating them.
I've been pondering the cost of food (No, I'm not poor. Just weirdly inquisitive.)
Carton of eggs: $0.99
Carton of yogurt: $0.50
Apple - $0.40
Tomato - $0.75
Okay, the tomato is pricey, but health-wise it's a good choice. As is fresh broccoli, at $1.80/lb. (A pound of broccoli is a heckuva lot of food.) Five pounds of potatoes is three bucks.
I wasn't going anywhere with that. Just thinking about it. Because I'm eating breakfast and for some reason today I'm wondering when I got too lazy to stir my own egg.
Okay, so, for reasons best known only to itself, our internet access is tottering like a herd of turtles today. I click a button and I have time to go get a cup of coffee and read the morning paper before the page loads. This kind of a pity since I was looking forward to reading my personal e-mail this morning. I can see there are a lot of messages there. I just don't think I'll live long enough to load them all.
Can't check the news, either. Sites seem to be loading 1 kb per minute. It's very aggravating. I guess I should go reboot something here in a minute.
Internally our office network has been problematic for the past month or so. Logging in to my office e-mail this morning, I found about eight messages that I should have received on Friday. I can't fix that but I hear-tell they're actually planning to hire some network people.
(I rebooted a blinky-thing. The internets are happy now.)
So. This week, DiamondGirl is on vacation and it's just me and Bernie (and Buehler is here). You know when I said last week I could deal with either Bernie or DiamondGirl, but not both? I don't feel that way so much this week, when it's Bernie instead of DiamondGirl who will be in all week. (Also, I'm wondering if he's going to be holding a grudge because I stopped answering his e-mails at 11:30 on Friday?)
Oh, dear. He's here. And I don't have anything to code the last hour of e-mail reading, journal-surfing, and blog post-writing to. Aacckk!
Okay. Hour-and-a-half meeting. (The e-mails did come up. Shrug. I just told him I was getting aggravated and decided to walk away from it for a while. He seems okay with that) (I think DiamondGirl is right. He is afraid of me. When did I become an ugly, scary old woman?) Mostly about what work we'll take on when DiamondGirl is gone, a thing he finally seems to be determined on, and how we'll outsource everything. So, you know, instead of doing any actual work, apparently I'll be managing the outsource resources (it becomes difficult to avoid bureaucrat-speak after decades in the workforce) and dabbling with the internal bookkeeping. Whatever.
Sigh. I work good. You give me work, I sit down and I do it. So, naturally they think the ideal use for my talents lies in watching other people work.
To add thrills and chills to the proposal, Bossyboots and Moe (b0th still hanging around on a consulting/free-lance basis) are likely to be two of the people I'm watching.
I like to work. I like to have my own little projects and to be left alone to mess about with them. I am not the Manager Type. My idea of "managing" someone is to say, "Shut up and do it anyhow."
Okay, I'm not that bad.
Still.
(I was going to talk about my weekend. Maybe later.)
He's "working from home" today. Which means, being very annoying via e-mail and IM, instead of in person.
The day before he left for a two day vacation, he bailed out at about 10:00 in the morning.
Today is the day before DiamondGirl leave for a four-day vacation, and he's trying to send enough projects to make sure she doesn't stop to breathe between now and 5:00.
Also? Memory loss problems.
Do this thing, he says three weeks ago.
No, don't do that thing, we might want to do the other thing, he said, 2-1/2 weeks ago. Wait and see.
We're not going to do the other thing, he said, two days ago.
Do that original thing instead, he said, a day ago.
I've been asking you to do the original thing for three weeks, he said today. Why doesn’t anything I ask you to do ever get done? What are you doing with your time? I don’t understand why everything always takes so long. Why can't I get a simple thing done in a timely fashion?
Take the day off, Bernie. Get out of the house. Breathe some fresh air. Soak up some sunshine.
Leave me the heck alone.
Yesterday morning I woke up with a severe, but very short-lived cramp in my leg. No biggie. I rubbed it and it was gone in sixty seconds, leaving no residual pain.
Today, I have a pain.
I think a 24-hour time-delay on that sort of thing is against the rules, isn't it? I don't like it when reality makes icky exceptions on my behalf.
In other non-news, I really don't know why it took until yesterday this week for it to sink in that we have a three-day weekend coming up! So, you know, hooray for the holidays!
We don't really have anything planned. It's supposed to be in the "low 90s" tomorrow and Saturday, which means it's not the kind of weather that's going to encourage me to go outside and frolic around in nature. Unless, of course, we decide to go to the mountains. We go up to Blackhawk sometimes, for the low-stakes gambling. We've always want to go up, take the bus to Central City, and then walk the scenic mile or two between the two towns back to Blackhawk. I wonder if I can convince the R.C. that getting out of the city heat and "exercising" that way would be a good use of a day off?
I wouldn't actually be bothering you at the moment but I can't get into my (personal) e-mail program and I'm still in first-half-hour-of-the-workday-start-mode. (Timesheet or no timesheet, I build a slow start to my day into my plans.) My web-based e-mail program is almost never down. Maybe once a year, for ten minutes.
But those minutes can be an eternity. I always imagine that long, fascinating conversations are taking place without me. This rarely proves to be the case, once I get back in to my mail, my friends being much like me and tending toward the random, the absurd, and the tangential, but I always think that this time....
I don't know how hot it is or is going to be today, but it's already 75 in my office. I sort of regret choosing to wear jeans this morning, but I'm going to be doing a certain amount of Manual Labor later and I don't want to ruin my good clothes.
Other than that, I really didn't have anything to say.
Okay, this can't be good. Today's the first day both Bernie and DiamondGirl have been in the office at the same time since last Thursday.
And today is the first day since last Thursday that I'm feeling really, really, really stressed.
This is ridiculous. He hasn't done anything. He's been very calm, even though I forgot to follow-up to get two simple things done that he asked for. (Okay...three things. But he hasn't discovered one of them yet and I might be able to get it done before he does.)
DiamondGirl tells me she's waiting to hear back on a new job and hopes to hear today or tomorrow. I hope to hell she hears back and that she got it.
Bernie is twitchy and a poor communicator and he flies off the handle, but at least he cares about getting work done, you know?
In the long run, it's not hard to see which of them is most likely to help me remain gainfully employed for a while (come on cruise!), even if it's the same person that I'd rather not be working with. And even if there's a possibility that he'll still stress me out when DiamondGirl is gone.
Of the two of them, I like DiamondGirl a lot more, but she does shit like she did this morning (she showed up at 10:00, which is about an hour later than she's supposed to get here, and her excuse was that she had to give her son benadryl?) (And then ten minutes later, she was already making a personal phone call?) and it just makes it hopeless for me to "solve" any of the problems we all have.
She's not showing any commitment at all to the job. Okay, I know she's burned out and tired of fighting to try and make this situation work. And I know she knows we're about to run out of work for her. So, you know what? I hope she leaves. As soon as possible, even though we're going to be in some trouble without her. It's going to be a lot better for her in the long run.
I mean, for god's sake, the thing Bernie wanted done was for her to put someone's name and phone number in Outlook. And she didn't manage to accomplish it? (Okay, and I forgot to follow-up to make sure it got done. And I wish that whoever started this little battle had just asked me to find the name & number and put it into Outlook in the first place. But still.) Doing that and taking a poll question he gave her and putting it online, which required nothing more than a simple text change to the website, this is about all he asked her to do before he left. And she didn't get either task done.
Also, which is equally aggravating to someone of my temperament, I really do (in spite of how the frequency of these posts make it look) have to keep my nose to the grindstone pretty much all day, every day. I can't really nudge her about her work ethic if I'm not setting a good example.
At the moment, I can't start any projects because a client was supposed to be calling me at 11:10 for some help with a project and I need to be available. I'm a tad annoyed that it's now 11:25 and I haven't heard from him. (I wish this kind of time was "billable.") Which is why I have the time to blog.
Update: Okay, I know Bernie left for a couple of hours to have a meeting. But why did you disappear, too, Diamond Girl? You disappeared 45 minutes ago. And you already had lunch. Where could you have gone?
I still don't like this system of having to account for every minute of my day. Partly because I guess I didn't know how much time I lost in aimless staring at the walls and Thinking Random Thoughts until I started trying to figure out where my time was going.
Which, I suppose, is the point, but I can't say I'm any more productive under this system. I'm just...less honest.
That can't be good.
This is my second blog post today. That can't be good.
It's not that my Tasks List has disappeared or anything. It's just that I got it down from two pages to half of one page and I feel like celebrating with a little non-productive time. (Now, some of you might feel like pointing out that I just had a weekend and thus I've just enjoyed two days of non-productive time and I'd like to ask you to keep your thoughts to yourself.)
Tasks left to accomplish include changing a phone message, calling a client to introduce myself, calling the insurance company to add myself to the coverage, and similar bits and pieces of whatnot. I find myself...uninspired to do any of them at the moment.
I also need to drive to the bank and make a deposit but I'm similarly unthrilled by the thought of driving to Cherry Creek during lunch rush, so I'm not doing that.
The only new entries showing up on my links list are Not Worksafe, so I can't amuse myself by paddling in the fandom pool.
All of my personal friends seem to be working today, so I don't have any e-mail to answer.
I guess I could write a story. I have a title in mind and a vague idea of a story that might go with it. That's as much as I ever used to have before.
Or, I could go politiblog for a while.
I've tried everything I can think of and I can't get the stupid wireless network up and running at home. I'm going to uninstall it and buy a new router. I'm sure Micro Center can sell me something that will work with the internal wireless adaptor installed in the new laptop.
The R.C. thought $50 sounded like a lot of money to spend, but coming from someone who spent $200 on new sunglasses this weekend, I don't think I have to listen to that.
I owe Rapunzel a letter which I started writing yesterday, but I was so boring I was putting myself to sleep.
I was thinking stories in my head all day yesterday. I've decided that the trigger-point is 30 days. It was a month after I finally gave up on my last fanfic story that I started blogging. I sort of gave up on politiblogging about a month ago (I still dabble, but the fire is gone) and now all of a sudden my brain is all full of stories again.
Not that I'm saying I'm going to be writing any time soon. The pressure isn't that strong. (I'm a very lazy writer. I don't write unless the story demands to be written.)
Mallory and I were chatting via e-mail the other day and decided that maybe we're frittering away all of our creativity and energy on blogging/journaling, instead of saving it for Real Writing. That sounds about right to me. (I'm always ready to blame anything but my own laziness for not writing.)
I haven't been drawing lately, either.
I don't know what my problem is. I wait all year for the days to be long enough that there's still light out when I get off work. And for warm, sunny weekend days.
And what am I doing with the hours, now that that's happened? Practically nothing.
I get home, I wallow down inside that overstuffed chair, and I drift aimlessly until bedtime. I surf the net, write posts, read miscellaneous things. and daydream.
I need to get rid of that chair. I'm sure that's the problem.
I mean, here I am today, at work, sitting up properly in a reasonable-sized chair, and I'm all enthusiastic about the idea of writing.
In other non-news, I had lunch with Fandom Friends on Saturday, which was a great deal of fun and probably what jump-started my brain into story-mode. I shopped without purchasing anything of interest.
Yesterday I did one load of laundry, cleaned the floor and the counters in my bathroom, cooked some chicken (and some steak), and that's about it. (It's possible I do have a story burbling in my brain. I used to get pretty inert right before writing, back in the day.)
Or, maybe I'm just disgustingly lazy.
My head is all full of thoughts today, none of which have anything to do with the work I'll be paid to be doing in (checks) 18 minutes.
Some are sort-of fannish. Some are weekend-related. Some are around the various things I should be accomplishing in my leisure hours (but am not). Some are about today's drive to work. I don't think I'll talk about any of them, though. They're not particularly interesting to anyone but me.
Sigh.
I'm jonesing today. I need a fandom fix and I need it bad. I have a very specific want but I can't go look for it because I'm at work. (It's dangerous to surf naughty topics at the office.)
And yet, surfing is torture at home until I get the wireless network fixed (riding on someone else's open network is okay, but slo-o-o-w), so I can't even tell myself I can find it tonight.
Maybe I could sweet-talk the R.C. into using the laptop if she wants to do anything computer-related. I can find what I want, dump it on the flash drive, and put it on the laptop to be enjoyed at my leisure. I can't believe I had that flash drive for almost a year before I figured out what it was and what I could do with it. I embarrass me sometimes.
I wrote a whole post. And saved it.
Where did it go?
And why I have I had to spend three hours in the last two days trying to explain to Bernie that 71 + 5 = 76 and not 81?
Posted by AnneZook at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)Last week I bought some chicken so I'd have something to cook up for lunches.
Six days later, I remembered it was in the refrigerator, still uncooked. Sigh.
I threw it out and bought morechicken, all of which I either cooked or froze yesterday. So, points to me for that, right?
Except. Last night I packed my happy little lunch bag, thinking of how yummy today's chicken-with-saffron-and-rice was going to be for lunch today.
It will always be a mystery why I subsequently left the lunch bag sitting on the counter, but there it was when I got up this morning.
I dumped my lovely chicken (with its very expensive experimental saffron sauce) sadly down the disposal and threw a frozen egg thing into my lunch bag for lunch.
I had a frozen-egg thing for lunch, too. A different thing, but still an egg-thing. It's a good thing my cholesterol is okay. (It's a tiny touch high, but that's the smoking, not my dairy consumption.)
Somewhere in my subconscious, I seem to be having Chicken Issues. This can't be good. It's the meat I eat most often, the thing I most rely upon when I'm on the diet and the item I reach for every day to up my protein intake. (Turkey is even better for you, but I've eaten so much turkey I can barely face it any more.)
That was it for adventure this past weekend. Out to lunch Saturday, which was tasty but not exciting. (Chili's Lettuce Wraps, which are tasty and lo-cal. I know that because an hour or two after I eat them, I always have to eat more. This week, it was Popcorn Chicken from KFC, which is neither healthy nor diet. But verrrry tasty.
Then to the store to buy a pair of black pants and three pair of underwear.
To the grocery store to buy the afore-mentioned chicken and an amount of junk food that could be justified only by (a) a party; or (b) a sekrit eating habit.
(Did you ever notice that vegetables are never BoGo? Frequently you'll find potato chips, cookies, or crackers on sale, "Buy One, Get One Free." You never see "Buy One Pound of Apples, Get the Second Pound Free" signs, though.)
Okay, not so much of an adventure as an on-going disaster.
I'm all alone in the world (At the moment, anyhow. I'm assuming Bernie will be in at some point.) and the network is down. Rather, the internet access is down.
I checked both server closets and nothing has red lights showing. That's about the extent of my expertise in these matters.
I took a chance and rebooted the exchange server. Of course, I don't know the password to bring it back up, so I'll have to call DiamondGirl at home. (It's sad to be on vacation and still be bothered with work stuff, I know.)
If that fixes the problem, then it's okay. If it doesn't, well, there are three other servers in the closet, but honestly, I don't think just randomly rebooting them is the solution. Or, I could reboot a DSL modem or two, in spite of the absence of red lights.
Brooding over server closet.... Choosing and rebooting a modem....
Okay. Well, one of those things seems to have fixed the problem.
Now I can get online, but I can't check my personal e-mail, because that server seems to be down.
Sometimes the world makes Monday's more work than I think, strictly speaking, they really need to be.
I had a good weekend, though. I didn't go on a spending frenzy like I did last weekend, but then I haven't finished reading all the books (or wearing all the clothes) I bought, either, so that's okay. (Well, I mean I hadn't read them all. I finished the last one yesterday evening.)
I also haven't gotten the wireless network fixed at home. I brooded over that for a while yesterday but I didn't come up with any brilliant solutions. I'm going to uninstall and reinstall the software. If that doesn't work, I guess it's new router time.
Making, of course, the third router I've had to buy. Technology is an expensive hobby.
Dammit. Internet access is down again. No...now it's back up.
It's going to be one of those days, isn't it? (OTOH, an e-mail just popped into my box saying Bernie won't be in the office today, so it won't be that bad.)
The reading glasses (Yes, I have to wear reading glasses. To read and sometimes if I'm staring at a computer screen for hours. Go ahead. laugh at the old lady.) I keep at the office broke this morning. I really needed them for a project I was going to do that involved turning 52 spreadsheets into two spreadsheets, so I took 15 minutes to try and repair them.
We don't have much in the way of potentially useful repair material at this office. I finally wound up gluing them (it was either Elmer's Glue or shipping tape). I got them to stay together in a perilous sort of handle-me-roughly-and-there-will-be-pieces-everywhere kind of way but unfortunately that made them sit crooked on my face.
I had no idea how ill you could feel from looking through crooked glasses.
Back when I wore glasses, I took better care of them that I've done this paid of $7 reading glasses.
I put in eye drops (three times), drank a pink of water (always good for almost anything that ails you) and now I'm trying to find something I can work on that doesn't require me to look at a computer screen. (Yes, okay, I know. But I have my eyes closed.) (Because I love you, I will open them and run spell-check before posting this.)
That's a bit tricky, in the modern workplace. I mean, I have things I do that I don't use a computer for, but they generally lead to computer work at some stage. And the things I had of that nature waiting for me today, well, I did them this morning in the expectation that I'd be computering that data this afternoon.
Part of me is worrying that there's a better word for that sentence than "computering" and I can't think of it at the moment.
Mostly, though, I desperately want a nap. (I assume that means the Advil is kicking in.)
Hey, guess what!
Bossyboots stopped by today! Turns out he's been doing some contract work for Buehler and he was hoping to talk to him about it. (Buehler didn't show today.) He (Bossyboots) hung around and chatted for half an hour or so. We get along better once every five months than we do on a daily basis, I guess. (And I'm putting that right on today's timesheet, too. 1/2 hours - chatting with Bossyboots.)
I was a bit disconcerted to hear that he wasn't at all surprised to hear I've been butting heads with Bernie. In fact, he (Bossyboots) seems to have thought that was rather like me.
Actually, now that I think about that, I'm less disconcerted than offended. When I think of the number of times I bit my tongue, stayed silent in the face of irritations and provocations, and clamped down on my desire to smack him around, I think I'm entitled to expect that he think of me as a nice, restrained sort of person.
Hmph.
Based on the number of people who don't seem to be surprised that I'm capable of picking a fight with someone at least once a week, I'm sort of thinking that 40 years of biting my tongue, not saying the mean things that came to my mind, holding back when I wanted to shout, refraining from pointing out the idiocy of everyone around me, and swallowing tens of thousands of incisive but far too obnoxious insults has only succeeded in gaining me a reputation as a regular bitch, instead of a super bitch.
Honestly, if I was going to be a bitch anyone, I'd rather have been a SuperBitch.
I've been searching for my superpower for years and it was right there!
It's only 3:30, but I'm ready to go home now.)
It's weird. Tuesday was A Day Of Insanity but Wednesday and Thursday were…noticeably not. Today, I'm all alone in the world. DiamondGirl is on vacation and Bernie is "working from home" (as he usually does on Fridays), so I don't anticipate The Crazy showing up today, either.
I do intend to work today, too. I have a lot of things I want to get done that I haven't been able to get to with those two underfoot and me having incipient meltdown moments.
I'm not doing those things yet, though. I'm taking advantage of the sweet peace to clean out my e-mail and go through the papers on my desk, to see what critically important stuff I might have dropped the ball on this week. (I'm the kind of person who has to stop being "productive" and organize myself fairly often.)
Still basking in the New Laptop Love, although wincing at the idea of the credit card bill that's going to arrive. Still haven't had the strength to fight through the wireless router problem, although that's top of my list for the weekend.
I'm also discovering why buying a "fully configured" laptop is a good idea. There are things I've taken for granted in the past. Things like anti-virus software. A DVD decoder. An unzipping program. Etc., etc., etc. Turns out, if you buy an off-the-shelf laptop at a minimal price, it doesn't come with those things. Last night I squandered $14.99 on a DVD program, so I can watch DVDs on it. The anti-virus software was about $50 or $70 (can't remember). And, yes, I had to buy Microsoft Office when I bought the laptop. I have no idea what else I might wind up needing. (Who pays attention to which programs they habitually reach for ten times a week?) I need to reload my PSP, but that's just a matter of taking the time to get it done.
(Things may have been less stressful Wednesday and Thursday this week, but being tensed up all day just in case there's a disaster takes it out of you as well.)
I set up Dr. Who to tape tonight. We're going to the theatre and I'm not sure what time we'll be home, since the performance doesn't start until 7:30.
Not the big, glamorous theatre. A small, sort of neighborhoodish kind of theatre, but I'm looking forward to it. We're seeing one of the R.C.'s coworkers in Chess, which just happens to be one of my favorite stage plays. It's had decent reviews, which is a relief. It's not one of the easier plays to stage well.
I didn't really have anything to say this morning. I just thought, you know, you might like it if I blogged occasionally when I'm not oozing insanity.
I'm awfully whiny sometimes, aren't I?
Sorry 'bout that.
P.S. It's May 10. I wonder if there's any point at which it's going to finish snowing in Denver this year so that we can get on with spring?
Posted by AnneZook at 09:51 AM | Comments (1)I have a freakazoid attack every time my boss asks me about anything that hasn't been at the top of my list for a while. This is because I've worked before for the kind of person who plays gotcha with the To Do list.
They never mean to do it, but no matter how tightly you pin them down to prioritizing, there's always something they thought should have been #1 that didn't get done.
Or, you know, five minutes after you've locked down the priorities, they toss something else at you casually and you don't find out until 9:00 tomorrow that it has a drop-dead due date of 10:00.
To be fair to Bernie, he did mention that he wanted Project X by next Monday. To be fair to me, I have another project, Project Z, due tomorrow, that needed all my time. I found out on Friday and I should have to ask DiamondGirl if she'd told Bernie, that what he wanted for Project X wasn't possible, but I just didn't. Think of it, I mean.
I tend to expect too much out of DiamondGirl, knowing as I do how burned out she is. And knowing that she's actually here about 6-1/2 hours a day, instead of the 8 she's paid for. And knowing that she spends a lot of her day IMing with friends and stuff.
I tried to keep the list prioritized. Really, I did. About six weeks ago, we spent six hours in meetings setting priorities. We spent so much time prioritizing that I didn't get a lick of work done for two and a half days. (I kept having to retype the task lists, then we'd meet about them again and everything would change and I'd have to retype them some more.)
Today, in an attempt to ignore the stress around Project X, I sat down and tried to deal with a lot of those other little items that keep coming back at you again and again because while they need to be done, they're not directly client-related and thus are not associated with any projects or invoices. (You know. They're not the "billable hours" he's always yelling about.)
Project Z, due tomorrow won't get done, but I told Bernie it wouldn't when he started asked me about these other things this morning. All he did was suggest that if I got these people on the phone and scheduled a call for later, I should be able to get it all done. (What part of, "I haven't been able to get them on the phone" was he not understanding? What part of, "If I do get them on the phone, I might as well just discuss the issue with them" doesn't strike him as more efficient? What part of, "I can do the necessary research and then make those seven phone calls or I can type these 500 e-mail addresses" was not clear to him? What part of calling a client about a question they've asked before you have an answer does not strike him as stupid and unprofessional?)
You know what I hate? I hate someone who thinks "multi-tasking" is spending fifteen seconds at a time on twenty projects and then shouting because nothing ever gets done, or things get done in a half-assed fashion.
So, I also told him that if he stopped yanking us around every ten minutes, we'd be able to focus on each project for long enough to actually send him the information he needs in a timely fashion. For instance, the piece of information he needed for Project X would have come to him last Friday, instead of at noon today.
At which point he said he was done for the day. (Not that he stopped e-mailing, because he didn't, but he did take a 30-minute break, after which we both played nice again.)
Yes, we had another e-mail fight today. Then I spent 30 minutes having a meltdown.
I think, in spite of the fact that I spent a fortune last weekend, I may have to leave this job. I can't take the crazy.
Or, I could start working 10 or 12 hours a day. That way I'd get more done each day, leaving me more time to monitor what DiamondGirl is doing and maybe we'd make some actual progress. I just have trouble convincing myself I want to give up evenings and/or weekends for a job where I took a 20 percent pay cut and that I already doubt is right for me for the long haul.
And. Having DiamondGirl tell me at 1:00 today that Project Z, the one that has, has, has to be done by tomorrow? Wasn’t done until three weeks after the Conference in previous years? Does not inspire me to give my all on the say-so of Bernie's deadlines.
I did spend a fortune last weekend.
On the other hand, I haven't fought this much with another person…well, in my whole life. I was raised with three siblings and I didn't fight with all three of them as much as I squabble with this one guy.
Life. Is not all joy.
Posted by AnneZook at 04:16 PM | Comments (0)Boy, the tired is just all over me today. Either I'm getting too old to work hard, or I need to work hard more often, to get back into the habit. Last week seems to have worn me out.
Or maybe it's just that I had such a great weekend. It's tough to have to go back to work on Monday morning when your personal life is being fun.
Heh. A rather expensive weekend, all things considered, but I do love to shop.
Today, I'm basking in the joy of twelve hundred dollars worth of Silvery New Laptop Love (part of that was software), enjoying the $70 (wince) worth of new books I bought yesterday, anticipating the other $75 (wince) worth of new books I have coming from Amazon, and looking forward to wearing one of the new shirts I bought this weekend. Or maybe the new jeans. Or maybe it will rain and I can wear my new rain slicker.
Not entirely basking, what with it being Monday and me being at work and all, but basking.
I haven't had a shopping blow-out like that since….well, I can't really remember when.
We pay lip service to frugality these days, promising ourselves we'll save enough money to pay for the Sekrit Cruise before we actually board the ship. (Oh, yeah. The balance of the money for that was due this weekend as well.) And, in general, we do pretty well. I tend to go mad every so often, but since it's me, I figure every day that passed without a box from Amazon arriving is something of a triumph.
Things were much calmer at the office once I got back in last week. No explosions or tension at all. Of course, Bernie wasn't here, which makes a difference. (I've decided I can deal with him or DiamondGirl. But not both at the same time.) Bernie will be in today. We'll see how things go.
With the damage I did my (well, the R.C.'s) credit card this weekend, I can't really justify quitting at the moment, but if the insanity returns, I feel justified in beginning to search for alternative employment. I refuse to be insane again.
Since I've now told Bernie that, I wonder if anything will change at the office?
(Yeah, that was part of our one-on-one time last week. I told him I'd been on the verge of quitting almost daily for the last couple of weeks. He was…rather astonished to hear that. He'd had no idea.)
The sad thing is that I know he's honest-to-gosh trying, to the best of his ability, to make changes. It's just that the gap between him and DiamondGirl is so wide that I don't think it can be bridged. There comes a point when there's just too much damage to a relationship, you know? Too much suspicion and paranoia on both sides.
But! Right now I will focus on the idea of New Books. I will focus on the pleasures of Laptop Love. (I will ponder the problem of being unable to connect via my wireless network and try to figure out new things to try.) I will focus on having New Clothes to wear this week. I will focus on the amazing tidiness of my room, now that I cleaned, tidied, and did laundry this weekend. (I will not focus on the bathroom, which I didn't get around to. Ditto the dusting and a pile of papers I'll have to deal with tonight.)
And, yes, I will do a bit of work today.
I'm back.
Actually, I was back as of yesterday afternoon, but I was exhausted, so I spent the afternoon unpacking, finding something to eat, and sitting in a chair, drooling on myself.
After about eight hours of that, I had the energy to take a shower and go to bed.
I hate traveling on business.
Granted, this was a short trip, in on Monday and back on Wednesday, but cramming 17 hours of work in between the two flights made it feel a week long.
I had Japanese both nights, which was fun. Sushi and tempura the first night, sushi and steak the second night. The food was better (for half the price) the first night, but the company was much better the second night.
Sigh. Bernie made the mistake of saying, "Well, we've got a little one-on-one time here. You have any feedback for me on how it's going?"
I could tell from his shining little face that he had No. Clue.
I wish people wouldn't ask me questions like that, you know? Because if you ask, I will tell you.
Two hours later, he was very surprised. And not a little depressed. Shrug. Anyhow. He said since he'd be out of the office until Monday, why didn't I take some time and put together some solutions. He's open, he claims, to suggestions.
Since many of my suggestions would necessarily involve him making changes to himself, I doubt he'll be all that happy to hear them.