It's ten degrees below cold outside. Normally I don't complain that much about cold temps, not unless they dip into negative numbers, but after last fall's sub-zero stretch, we had a long interlude of mild, sunny weather. I think spring fever set in early for me this year--I wasn't ready for winter to come back.

Not that I'm really complaining. It could be worse--I could be on the East Coast shoveling out from under two or three feet of white stuff and waiting on the next foot to arrive.

Our last round didn't dump more than six inches on us. (Six inches is sort of borderline--less than that and we don't bother to notice it. More and we start telling war stories.)

But, and this is where the ouch comes in, it's been warm and then it snowed and got very cold very quickly and in a careless moment I stepped out of a door and over what I thought was a puddle of melted snow but that turned out to be a six-foot long sheet of glassy ice.

sniffle I banged my knee. sniffle

Okay, not so much "banged" since it was more of a slo-mo sinking toward the pavement than an outright slip-and-crash, but it smarted for several minutes. And I got my pants dirty.

Yes, you heard that right. The biggest trauma in my life at the moment is that I had to do a load of laundry last night.

Also, I am fat. Not only did I not get that last two pounds lost, but I put two pounds back on and now I have to take all of them off. (I might have more of a head of steam up about it if I wasn't casting an eye back over the last two or three weeks and seeing a lot of pizza, Mexican food, and pasta in my days. I know I can't eat like that every day. Why I do it sometimes, I don't know.)

I am pondering having a new Theory Of Dieting. I might write a book, rip off a million pudgy but hopeful people, and retire laughing. I have a title. It's called, Eat Something. It's all about eating real food (no sugar "substitutes" or imitation this or that) but learning to exercise portion control (something I still struggle with myself, but mostly only when I eat prepared food or frozen items that are packaged as "single serving" but have enough calories to make two full meals).

I had a fairly comprehensive outline worked out, but now it's boring me and I don't care any more.