The circus. I sweartogod, I'm running away to join the circus.

This morning, one nitwit 'Nut got snippy with me because he's in Kentucky and he can't claim a Webstrainer local mapping listing for a city in Tennessee. Apparently the concept of "local" is too hard to understand.

The S'SWest 'Nut was unsatisfied with the report I ran demonstrating that his campaign is pulling three times the traffic of his Nor'East 'NutNeighbor's campaign. He was unsatisfied with the report I ran showing that, during the five morning hours when he claims his ads do not show, he receives over 30% of his daily ad shows. He was unsatisfied with the report I ran showing that quality issues, most of which could be easily fixed are the root of his problem. He was, in fact, positively belligerent.

And, in spite of (very) grudgingly giving me a week to produce a series of miracles, he was back today, less than twenty-four hours later, threatening legal action if, as near as I can tell, we don't change reality to suit him.

MadBoy, still unhappy with the performance of his campaign that is now under outside agency management is nevertheless blaming us for his unhappiness. Yesterday and today, he's been screaming into our email about how his 'NutNeighbor's campaign is stealing his traffic. He asked an incomplete question of some random Webstrainer person he got in touch with and got a misleading answer--one that served to reinforce his belief that we are deliberately trashing his life.

NewBoss Anais, in spite of my hissy fit when she mentioned it, forced me to actually call our Webstrainer rep and ask if reality can be changed for these two lu'Nutics. (I mean, how humiliating is that? Who makes someone call an "expert" to ask if C is part of ABC?)

"Don't feed the bears," I told NewBoss Anais. "If you do, they'll never leave. They just keep coming back, getting meaner and meaner."

While agreeing with me, she still made me call.

I know she doesn't mean to diss me by making me get "expert" advice to prove that I know what I'm talking about, but it's still very demeaning.

Also? So embarrassing. There was no way to disguise from our Webstrainer rep that I was being made to call and ask her to alter reality. I did try, but at one point, she told me how sorry she was that I was having to deal with all of it, so it's pretty clear she understood what was going on. In response to my request. She was also flatteringly grateful to find that I'm still here. (She's had to conference in with 'Nuts before and has few illusions.)

Yesterday's wig-out might have had one positive result. This morning, NewBoss Anais told me that Jason was calling the S'SWest 'Nut, telling him that it's clear that separate campaigns are not working, and that he and his Nor'East 'NutNeighbor have to annul their (marketing) divorce and bring all their toys back to one sandbox.

Also, NewBoss Anais swears that they have a company hired to do some of this, one that will start on July 1. And an individual to replace our lost web design/tech person. And two companies who will sell the 'Nuts leads, which will hopefully keep them busy enough to shut them up.

The way this week is going? July 1 will be too late. Yesterday's panic attack happened at 2:00 pm. Today's symptoms kicked in at 11:00 am. Tomorrow's will probably commence the second my alarm goes off in the morning.

Gidget and Vela cancelled for lunch today. Vela is apparently so socially popular and active she can't make lunch for two or three more weeks. Gidget and I are getting together next week. (No word on whether or not Lina accepted Gidget's invitation at all.)

Fortunately, I have friends who are better to me than I am to them and, if I can survive until Monday, are going to help me with that talking down off the ledge thing.

Also, I have a NewBoss who saw through my feeble protestations about Fatness and who is going to provide me with almond M&Ms one day soon. :D

___________________

P.S. Sadly, NewBoss Anais also confirmed, in no uncertain terms, that they have no plans to lay me off at all. My vague vision of a summer funded by unemployment checks has evaporated.