This place, as Vela said to me the other day, is a freakshow.

We're having Mandatory Fun this month.

There was a Guess The Baby contest. Everyone was supposed to bring in a picture of themselves under the age of two (I think) and then we all had to look at grainy photocopies of the pictures and guess who was who.

Since I rolled out of bed both late and disinclined on Monday, I wound up working from home and didn't get my picture submitted.

They spent three days 'celebrating' St Patrick's day and I don't think there's an Irish person anywhere in the office. The 'party' culminated with green beer (Coors. Ugh.) and one of those giant birthday cookies for Grace, who has a March birthday, on Tuesday. (She didn't show up at the party, in spite of the email announcing that attendance was mandatory, so we ate the cookie for her.)

Now we're having mandatory PTO. This company is one of those who eliminated 'vacation' and 'sick leave' in favor of a single bank of Paid Time Off days. And, apparently, the company is on the hook for too much time on the books in some weird fashion I don't understand.* Everyone has to take a day, anyhow.**

And? They're going to a "use it or lose it" policy.

A company that has cut every department by 50% or more and where the remaining staff members are now doing two or three full-time jobs each, where employees have been told to come in on time and stay as late as they have to, to get the work done, is now going to take away our vacation because no one is taking time off.

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Anyhow. I'm taking Monday. I double-checked with our Controller, Fun Bobby, who also acts as our HR department,and that's all they need at this point - for everyone to get eight hours of time off (expense) off the company's books.

Aside from that, Jason, who is On The List for too many offenses to remember at this point, spent last Friday's NIMO ('Nuts with Internet Marketing Opinions) meeting calling on me for my opinion and mentioning the things I want that he thinks should be priorities.

This was not, you understand, about praising me or actually being supportive of my priorities. No, it was about not-so covertly dissing Vela. I am not amused by being used that way.

Vela has updated her resume and her online profile and is already scouting her next job.

What with all of this, I'm doing the same. I've touched base with both Buehler and Bernie (!!) and am scheduling lunch with DiamondGirl.

Gidget, of course, is never off my radar these days. (She getting stronger. Slowly but surely.)

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** Okay, yes, I understand it. But it's boring.

** Anyone but me ever notice that you used to have up to five days of sick time a year, if you needed it, plus ten days of 'vacation' time--then companies started rolling them in together and suddenly you got ten days of PTO? A very slick way to cut down on benefits, no? And the single largest reason I can think of for all of those plague-infested people to continue to drag their infectious bodies into the office day after day. If they stay home sick, they get no vacation time until next year.

The other hot trend in smaller companies is to cut down on 'holidays' (many are ceasing to give the day after Thanksgiving and if Christmas falls on a Thursday, they expect your butt in the office on time on Friday), so one head cold means you basically never get a break.

By the time you add Reaganomics-inspired cheap labor policies (lay off or fire 25% of your staff and work the rest of them harder), it's no wonder "productivity" seems to climb every year in this country.

Basically, our entire economy has been a 'bubble' since the '80s, but that's a digression. (It's a pity that being opinionated and writing rants and spouting ill-informed opinions isn't a paying job.)