I think I've finally figured out how not to wig out the rabbits squatting around the landscape. When I need to go outside, if I see one, I just make sure I don't change my pace or the direction I'm walking. As long as they think I don't see them, they're fine.

It's saying something when I say that that discovery is one of the best things that's happened to me this week.

Not a week for good happenings.

I don't think I mentioned that I somehow lost a contact lens last week. Normally, having a contact lens pop out isn't a tragedy--after 30+ years of wearing them, I've gotten pretty good at spotting one of the floor or a chair or whatever. This time--no such luck. I was sitting in a chair in my own living room but the lens had clearly popped itself into some alternate dimension. I've been waiting over a week for the replacement (my insurance covered a whopping $15 of the cost and then I had to pay an extra $9 to have it mailed to me because the alternative was to take two hours off work) and I'm getting aggravated. I only had a spare left lens, and I lost the right lens. I can see reasonably well, but things are just that little fraction "off" - and sitting here staring at a computer screen all day is very tiring.

The insanity continues here at the Argonut Café as all the luNUTics continue to live up to their names. The Argonuts Afield staged (did I tell you this yet?) something of a mutiny last week.

After paying a monthly fee for the last year to have us manage their accounts and after getting customized monthly reports, periodic phone calls, and a 'NutNews update every other week on what we've been doing to accounts and what the results have been so far--well, after all of that, about two weeks ago they all discovered to their (gasp!) horror and (shock!) amazement that we make changes in their accounts!

What did we mean by this? What right did we have? Who gave us permission to do this? What guarantees do they have that no changes have been made that were not improvements? What made us think we knew how to advertise their (franchised) business services? What are we doing? Do we know we have destroyed their businesses? Do we know we are killing them?

For the record? Phone leads - up 53% this year over last year. Written leads - up 39% this year over last year.

If anyone in the reading audience can explain to me how leads being up an average 68% since the economy started nose-diving in September is akin to stabbing someone in the back, I would appreciate it.

And the mutiny continues. All account management has stopped while Vela and Jason hammer out a document telling the NIMOs ('Nuts with Internet Marketing Opinions) what we do, under what circumstances we do it, and what right they have to do their own thing or be notified either in advance or afterwards of what is going on.

It's okay that most of my work is on "hold" though, because approximately 36 hours of my (ostensible) 40-hour work-week have been otherwise occupied this week with sitting in 4-hour meetings (where I try to distill a year's worth of knowledge into 30-second soundbites), running special reports, analyzing over 120,000 lines of data (so far), and otherwise justifying my existence daily while the (previously improving) accounts I am no longer entitled to edit start to lose traction.

And with (get this) fulfilling special requests for three 'Nuts who rely on me for that kind of thing frequently but who still feel free to announce to the other NIMOs, via email and conference call, that I'm practically incompetent and have no idea what I'm doing.

I won't go on. I've already gone on for too long and I've barely scratched the surface.

To add to the week's joys--after a week of silence, I finally heard from Gidget yesterday. She's back in the hospital - third time in the last five months, this time with a serious post-op infection. I hate the idea that I can't let a few days go by without checking on everyone I know, to make sure they're okay.

On that same subject, I checked my personal email a few minutes ago to see that the L-i-K-S sent me an email yesterday to tell me that one of my nieces (Pippi) had a serious car accident this week. She is ok, but lots of cuts and bruising - at least, that's how it sounds. I won't know for certain until I can call them this evening. The car was totaled, but that matters so much less than her being okay, doesn't it?

I'm feeling a little bruised myself at this point, and I still have a two-hour NIMO meeting and another 10,000 lines worth of data to analyze before I'm finished with this week.

Last Sunday, I spent four or five hours trying to get the problems with the home PC fixed. I didn't get done, and there's hasn't been a single evening this week when I've had the energy to tackle the project again. I'm going home just exhausted every night.