My apologies to those of you who are less-than fascinated with the soap opera of my office life. Bernie and I are having another little moment, and I'm here to vent.

He's an ungrateful little shit. Not content with the fact that I'm doing the Tweenybopper's job without hysteria or lesser trauma, that I've picked up what little I can understand of DiamondGirl's job, that I'm on top of, even ahead of schedule for September's commitments, which are the heaviest in the history of the company, along with 'managing' a free-lance worker and doing the research for two new projects, both of which are going to land squarely on my desk, he's now bitching and moaning because when he's not in the office, I'm not always at my desk when he calls.

Those of you who have been with us for a while may remember that I mentioned the Tweenybopper volunteering to work remotely when she moved to Philadelphia, and Bernie declining the offer because her job can't be done entirely from a computer - there's a fair amount of actual, physical stuff to be done here in the office.

Now, however, he has decided that he's "too old to be embarrassed" and when he's out on a "sales call" to someone's office, I need to be at my desk, for a minimum of 3-4 hours, so that if he has a need for me for any reason, he can reach me.

You know, I'm sorry if he's embarrassed by his woeful lack of understanding of the products his company supposedly sells, but I think there's an easier fix than having 50% of the staff off-line and unproductive any time he's afraid someone will ask him a question. I've been here for six months. He's been here for six years. How has he managed not to figure out what the products do in all that time?

I'm all the more annoyed because time when he's out of the office is usually my most productive time. I tear through a ton of work when he's not here, being needy.

Also, he stated firmly that if he says he'll call me at 9:15 some morning, if haven't heard from him by 9:16, I need to be "concerned" and to be calling him up to see what the problem is. (His idea, among other things, is that someone might be "talking to him" and he might not be watching the time. So, basically, I'm to make a long-distance call to be his alarm clock.)

I continue to be somewhat amazed by all of this. I've never worked with a two year-old before. I've only ever worked with adults.

You know, the kind of people who, if they're in sales, make sure they know the features of the products they sell.

The kind of people who, when they make an appointment, consider it to be mostly their own responsibility to keep it, especially once they get to the point where they've already arrived at the client's office.

The kind of people who don't keep saying, again and again, I know you're not my secretary/personal assistant, but I need you to act like one.

The kind of people who, if they hire you to provide sales support, don't get pissy with you because you can't provide network support.

I keep mentioning "sales" in quotes that way when I talk about Bernie because I've now been privileged (ahem) to hear him doing a presentation to a potentially huge client (that was Tuesday's call) and I found myself...just so underwhelmed that I can't really find the words to express it at the moment.

(DiamondGirl and I chatted about his "sales" ability one time and she did mention that she'd never known him to make a sale. All of the clients he has he either inherited from the parent company or were referred to us by one of those three clients. After listening to him the other day, I can't really say I'm surprised.)

Anyhow.

Considering that he combined the above hissy fit with the news that he's switching to his wife's insurance coverage and that if our current provider won't continue to cover me, I'll have to find alternate insurance (although he did offer to pay part of it) and the news that he's either going to get into a snit and quit at the end of September, or the end of the year, and I suddenly find myself startlingly free of the guilt I was feeling about job-hunting right now, before the busiest four weeks the company has ever had kick off.

It occurred to me the other day (have I mentioned this before?) that between the pay cut Bernie handed me, the loss of my 401K, and inflation over the last 3-4 years, I've lost approximately 25% of my salary since the day I first met this bunch o'crazies. It's just not worth the price.

I just feel certain there has to be another office out there who needs an office manager / shipping and receiving clerk / bookkeeper / cleaner / receptionist / account exec / customer technical support rep / mail clerk / software tester / etc. / etc. / etc. I even feel reasonably certain that a company needing this person won't get snippy with them when they find themselves unable to provide babysitting services as well.

Who knows? Since I actually have over a decade of experience as an Account Exec? Maybe someone out there actually needs those skills?