#1 - It's a shame that writing blog entries isn't paying work. I can muster up enthusiasm for blathering on about nothing at all for hours on end in my blog every day. My enthusiasm for my actual paying job wanes after the first thirty minutes in the morning.

Some days, like today, I have plenty of bits and pieces to mess around with, but the only actual job satisfaction comes from checking these things off the list.

#2 - It's a shame that I wasted 50 cents on that package of pens in that "back to school sale" last week. I knew at the time that I wasn't likely to love a pen that cost 5 cents (there were ten in the package) and sure enough, I don't love them. Now I'm mentally justifying paying $5 for a package of three of the kinds of pens I actually like.

A pen should not fight the paper. I shouldn't feel my muscles straining from the force it takes to compel the pen to disgorge ink upon the paper. (Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I don't love these pens.)

#3 - It's a shame I only have ten days of vacation a year. I've been figuring it and with my annual trip to California and scheduling a couple of days to go see my Mom once a year, it's a tight fit to get another cruise in next year (assuming I'm still at this job, and haven't started over and am restricted to something stupid like 5 days a year of vacation).

I mean, I can do it, but that leaves me with no possibility of time off during the rest of the year.

It's been six years since I left the job where I had 15 days of vacation a year and I'm still not used to it. I find that I resent the idea that if I take time off in February and August, I can't be away from work the other ten months of the year.

(I'm finding the numbered list format confining, so I'm abandoning it.)

The more I think about it, the more I'm deciding that this whole "work" thing is stupid and badly arranged. People's lives should be spent living. Not shut up in little boxes.

I used to have a friend who would scrimp and save and pinch pennies all year, then take a mad, extravagant vacation each year. She would go places like Russia or Austria or Florence. She ate out no more than once a month, if that, never went to movies or bought books, or did any unnecessary shopping - like for extra clothes. And I always thought that while I envied her the exotic vacations, I couldn't imagine not living all year long just so I could do something wild and crazy once a year.

Now I want it both ways. I want an exciting vacation every year, but I don't want to have to give up my regular pursuits to get it. I especially don't want to give up the freedom to have an extra day off every so often.

Life is badly arranged.

Although...now that I think about it, the cruise thing probably isn't going to be that big of an issue. I'm not a fan of hot weather and I hate high humidity, so there really aren't that many cruises I'd probably be interested in taking outside of the Alaska one, you know? I'd like to go to Hawaii on the cruise that takes you by the volcano island. But the Caribbean and other destinations other people rave about? Strike me as recipes for misery.

I've thought about the Panama Canal. That would be fabulous - just to ride through the Canal and think about the history of it all. But, again, hot and humid, and those Panama Canal cruises are expensive.

Also, there might be bugs. I don't like bugs.

Sigh. I'll just tell myself that these days when I'm the only one in the office are practically like vacation. Everything but the fun and the freedom....

Maybe I'll go mad and eat a cookie.