Boy, the tired is just all over me today. Either I'm getting too old to work hard, or I need to work hard more often, to get back into the habit. Last week seems to have worn me out.

Or maybe it's just that I had such a great weekend. It's tough to have to go back to work on Monday morning when your personal life is being fun.

Heh. A rather expensive weekend, all things considered, but I do love to shop.

Today, I'm basking in the joy of twelve hundred dollars worth of Silvery New Laptop Love (part of that was software), enjoying the $70 (wince) worth of new books I bought yesterday, anticipating the other $75 (wince) worth of new books I have coming from Amazon, and looking forward to wearing one of the new shirts I bought this weekend. Or maybe the new jeans. Or maybe it will rain and I can wear my new rain slicker.

Not entirely basking, what with it being Monday and me being at work and all, but basking.

I haven't had a shopping blow-out like that since….well, I can't really remember when.

We pay lip service to frugality these days, promising ourselves we'll save enough money to pay for the Sekrit Cruise before we actually board the ship. (Oh, yeah. The balance of the money for that was due this weekend as well.) And, in general, we do pretty well. I tend to go mad every so often, but since it's me, I figure every day that passed without a box from Amazon arriving is something of a triumph.

Things were much calmer at the office once I got back in last week. No explosions or tension at all. Of course, Bernie wasn't here, which makes a difference. (I've decided I can deal with him or DiamondGirl. But not both at the same time.) Bernie will be in today. We'll see how things go.

With the damage I did my (well, the R.C.'s) credit card this weekend, I can't really justify quitting at the moment, but if the insanity returns, I feel justified in beginning to search for alternative employment. I refuse to be insane again.

Since I've now told Bernie that, I wonder if anything will change at the office?

(Yeah, that was part of our one-on-one time last week. I told him I'd been on the verge of quitting almost daily for the last couple of weeks. He was…rather astonished to hear that. He'd had no idea.)

The sad thing is that I know he's honest-to-gosh trying, to the best of his ability, to make changes. It's just that the gap between him and DiamondGirl is so wide that I don't think it can be bridged. There comes a point when there's just too much damage to a relationship, you know? Too much suspicion and paranoia on both sides.

But! Right now I will focus on the idea of New Books. I will focus on the pleasures of Laptop Love. (I will ponder the problem of being unable to connect via my wireless network and try to figure out new things to try.) I will focus on having New Clothes to wear this week. I will focus on the amazing tidiness of my room, now that I cleaned, tidied, and did laundry this weekend. (I will not focus on the bathroom, which I didn't get around to. Ditto the dusting and a pile of papers I'll have to deal with tonight.)

And, yes, I will do a bit of work today.