Not in the mood today.

This "tracking your time" thing could be a problem on days when you're jut not feeling productive. So far, I've only accounted for 1.25 hours of the 2.5 hours I've been here, and I've already padded each of the items on the list.

For the first month I worked here, I was stress-eating. I assumed it was from learning so much new stuff at once.

So far this month, I'm stress-shopping. (What's the point of going through this if I can't visit Amazon.com a couple of times a week?) $170.00 and counting, and it's only the fifth of the month.

I preferred working for Buehler. As long as he had enough money, he was perfectly happy to pay me to be in the office, chatting with him, sharing online shopping sites, and complaining about the daily news.

I'm not unaware of the probable connection between his casual attitude toward business and his eventual inability to pay me, but since Bernie keeps threatening that there won't be money after the end of this year if we don't all shape up (more on that in a minute), it still seems to me that I've traded Dr. Jekyll for Mr. Hyde.

It's not that Bernie is a monster or anything. I know I tend to exaggerate when I'm bored and blogging, so don't run away with the idea that he's the devil's own gift to the workplace.

It's just that he's…well, he's so fussy.

He fusses constantly.

What are you working on? Come help me archive my e-mail. Are you doing this? Did you do that? Can you teach me to be a graphic designer in sixty seconds or less? Why aren't you working on the other thing? This has to be done by the end of the day. We really should be doing this for the client even though they're not paying for it. Why are all those files Buehler and I pulled out of filing cabinets and stacked on the empty desk still not refiled with a whole new, efficient filing system? What's in all those binders with dates on them from three years before you worked here? Did you finish that thing I told you to do five minutes ago? Why not? What are you working on?

It's a constant stream of irritating interruptions, all day long, and only about 20% of the time, if that, are they questions about projects that really need to be at the tops of our minds at that moment, you know?

I may have to rename him ChaosBoy. I think that's his superpower.

Re: The money situation. After five weeks' of watching what we're doing (and not doing), I can confidently say that the problem isn't that DiamondGirl and I aren't doing "billable" work, it's that Bernie, or ChaosBoy, isn't able to bill for the work we're having to do to keep the accounts moving.

Part of it's that when he asks how long a job will take, and we tell him, he gets aggravated and says the clients won't pay for that, and he makes us revise the estimates downward.

Of course, you can estimate any number that you want, but if a software developer tells you it's going to take 6 hours to do something, anyone who doesn't tell the client it's going to take 10 or 12 hours, is crazy. And someone who tells the client we can do it in 4 hours is certifiable.

And, part of it is the clients themselves. He goes after clients he finds "interesting."

Now, I completely support anyone's desire to work with Not Evil Clients, but there's a difference between that and only going after accounts you find "interesting."

#1 - That fact that they're "interesting" doesn't mean that what we do is of use to them. When it isn't, and when we have to take on doing something entirely new, that takes longer and costs more. And we're not as successful at it because it's not our core competency.

#2 - Being "interesting" is not the same as having enough money to pay for the things you tell them we can do for them. If the client can't, or won't, pay for a service or product we offer them, then that's the end of it. If you want to do it anyhow because they're "interesting" and they "need it to succeed" then win the freaking lottery and finance it out of your own pocket. But stop threatening us with unemployment because you, as our salesperson, are not bringing any money in.

#3 - What's "interesting" to you isn't interesting to your staff. What we find challenging and rewarding isn't that you've found a new recycling company in the area, and one that wants products and services that are almost but not quite exacly different than what we're doing for anyone else. We can't use any of our established procedures and systems because what you're asking for today is not what they were designed for. People are flexible, yes, but computer programs are limited.

You're driving. Your software programmer. Entirely. Insane.

Anyhow. The next time we have a bit of free time, I'm going to have a more sensible sales strategy to offer you. One that will lead to clients that not only have money, but who have a real need for exactly what we do.

I know you're going to reject it, but I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried.