I usually try not to get too political, but since I read a review of the movie that said, as a movie, it wasn't a groundbreaking classic, I feel it's okay to report that I've read that "Jarhead" may be the Gayest. War. Movie. Ever.

Recipe for gayest war film of all time:

1. Combine macho homophobic comments of soldiers with showering together (loads of slapping of asses)

2. Mix in tight bonding (note the pairing-off of sniper teams) of often topless hard-bodied troops (even the stereotypical nerdy recruit is ripped)

3. Juxtapose with sub-theme of cheating by far-away girlfriends and wives (including one who is said to only wear her boyfriend's military clothes and have a soldier fetish)

4. Equate shooting of gun with masturbation (x10!)

5. Add General who keeps saying he's getting a hard on while speaking to the assembled male troops

6. Simulate gay group orgy to embarrass Sergeant

7. Climax film with scene about as close as you can get to a literal circle jerk (firing guns into the air until all their rounds are spent)

This film is comparing war with busting your gay cherry. Or, if you want to get all film-crit 101 with it: the sexualization of war. They're all waiting for their first kill, to fire a shot, to do something, anything! And everything they do while waiting is highly sexualized. And then when it doesn't come, when nothing happens, it's like the biggest cock-tease in history.

Awww...doesn't sound like any of the guys wind up Happily Ever After! (Although an enterprising group of fanfic writers can fix that.)

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Via