My brain persists in refusing to cooperate in the matter of either of those DS stories. It's offering me a number of ideas for different stories, none of which would actually work in execution. Sometimes I really wish my subconscious would just talk to me clearly, so I wouldn't have to play these guessing games with myself, trying to figure out what it is that I really want. (Women. Sheesh.)

For instance, I heard "Music Of the Night" on the way to the office today. I've never seen Phantom, but that song really enthralls me. Partly it's Crawford's voice (and Streisand, I guess), but part of it is the lyrics themselves. And part of it is the music. It's so amazingly lush, I always feel as though I could sink into it, like the world's finest velvet.

I daydreamed half my commute away designing a story around the emotional resonance of the lyrics before I realized that the characters I was hearing were OC and half of the story was playing out like MYSA-AS.

(It's my opinion that someone who just recently celebrated copying a sketch of a cat so that it looked like a cat, even if not much like the one in the sketch being copied, shouldn't be daydreaming in pictures. I mean, I know a daydream is a daydream, but still. I don't usually dream in pictures. Maybe it's because I've been trying to look at things recently? Trying to see shapes and perspective and light-and-shadow?) (Or maybe it's because I had a 7:00 a.m. call and my mind is all discombobulated by the change in routine.)

My brain seems to think that I am not the boss of it, which is a little aggravating.

Still. It's sort of encouraging that something seems to be burbling away in there, don't you think? I want my brain fixated on RayK and Fraser, but if it's decided to take a circuitous route to get to them, I can wait. I'm willing to give the unconscious creative process at least 24 hours before I start getting testy.

Maybe 48 hours. Let's face it...it's been a long, long time since my brain tossed out any kind of stories ideas at me. I should be more receptive.

My Lunch Friend and I discussed this whole writing-fandom thing at length (along with several other topics) today. I've decided that what I miss isn't so much fandom as it is some of the kinds of conversations and interactions there used to be in the early days. (Back when newsgroups were thin on the ground and only a few e-mail lists existed. ROG. That's what I miss.) I miss the creative energy we used to generate, the excitement, the fun in finding your mind expanding as people shared serious (and lustful) ideas you'd never thought of.

Sigh. But, I've moaned about that so many times that I think I'm pretty much wearing it out. So I'm going to shut up about it.

Unless, you know, I get to feeling whiny. If I do, all bets are off.