Whoosh! Once again I protest against the people who employ me expecting me to work during the day. Especially this working all day, every day, sort of thing.

It's only going to get busier, at least for a while. I've even had to muzzle my inner control freak and hand 50+ "active" clients over to BossyBoots to fail to* follow up with. I just don't have the time. I had 86 potential clients on my plate already and another ten or fifteen showed up yesterday.

(Okay...I didn't entirely abandon the "active" list. I'm sorting the 50+ into regions and matching them up with the regional reps so I can send e-mails to all the reps telling them to do some follow-up. But after that I'm abandoning responsibility for these groups.)

I've been going home exhausted this week, collapsing into a chair, and staring blankly at the TV screen (waiting for the SpikeMoments in various episodes as we work our way through the S6 and S7 eps that Lynn missed on account of having had to leave town, but I promised I wouldn't go all SpikeCrazy this time, so I won't continue).

One potentially good thing about being so busy is that I don't have time to obsess over the flaws in the SEN. By the time I have the energy to get back to it this weekend, I'm hoping I'll have a bit of fresh perspective on it. A better idea of why it continues to suck so massively and even some notions about how to correct said suckage.**

I still have ideas for about ten PWPs, sitting on the sidelines and waiting patiently, but I tell myself that they'd have had to wait for me to get over the SpikeMarathon and watch some DS and Sentinel eps anyhow.

I have notes for each of them. Nothing extreme, about 500 words, but enough to remind me why I liked the idea so that when I do get around to writing them, I won't wonder what the point was supposed to be. (Okay, the "notes" are bits of dialogue. Sue me if I consider dialogue to be the point.)

That's a fairly humongous stack of "new calls" sitting there by my right elbow. When added to the calls I didn't get done yesterday (too many meetings that ran too long), there's really no excuse for me sitting here blogging, but here I am.

I've started politiblogging again, at least occasionally. That turned out to be a harder habit to break than I'd anticipated. And people kept sending me links to stories or their own blog entries, inviting me to comment, which also tempted me. But I swear I'm not going to let it get out of control this time. Not like last time. I don't have/want to have 4-6 hours a day to spend on that any more.

Hmmm.... If I'm not talking about Spike, or obsessing about the SEN, I'm not sure I have anything to say. (Not that that normally shuts me up.)

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* He won't do it. I know he won't do it. He does a half-assed job of following up with the people he had on his list before. But I wasn't getting it done and at least this way I don't have the stress of realizing I'm the one dropping the ball.

** I am, to a tiny extent, sort of over that concept. The one about writing more for the SEN, I mean.

I took 40k perfectly good, if extremely boring, words out of it. I'm not sure I should reward it for being so hard to get along with by writing it lots of nice, new words, you know?

But I'm not obsessing about it right now, I'm letting it "rest" until the weekend. I'm not even thinking about the possibility that the one remaining scene that's still miles too long is the one I originally came up with, the one I wanted to write the story for in the first place, and that it might have to go.

I will say that the problem with most writing books is that they weren't written for fanfic. It's all very well to talk about using descriptive language or to experiment with regional or ethnic perspectives, but you can't tamper with fanfic characters the way you can with OCs.

One thing I did accomplish for the SEN? I wrote the disclaimers, which include:

Author's note: Before sending criticism, stop and consider how much worse this might have sucked. Because for many moons, the suckage factor around this one threatened to create a gravity well that would obliterate the planet. The fact that it achieved the status of "marginally postable but you should reconsider that pseudonym thing" is a triumph of persistence and dedicated beta readers.

The thing is...I still miss the days when I wrote in a white-hot fever of inspiration. The stories I wrote then had a lot of problems, but "mind-bogglingly boring" wasn't usually one of them.

Also? I miss just sitting down and writing. Editing is hard, she whined for the five-thousandth time.