Heh. Heh-heh.

Reality shows we'd really like to see

By Cindy Rodríguez Denver Post Columnist

How low can TV producers go?

How's this: A reality show in Germany called "Sperm Race" that tests the semen of contestants to see which man is the most virile.

It gets worse.

The same company, Netherlands-based Endemol productions, is working to launch a program in the U.S. called "I Want Your Baby," in which a childless woman in her 40s picks a sperm donor from a group of men.

I wouldn't mind these mindless reality TV shows if there were enough to counterbalance them. But look at the list: "The Real World," "The Apprentice," "Cribs," "Project Runway," "The Simple Life," "Blind Date," "The Surreal Life."

These are self-indulgent, voyeuristic shows that hinge on embarrassing someone.

On the positive side, there are a few good shows - "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "The Biggest Loser."

Both of those shows are hits, which makes you wonder: Do viewers watch shows like "The Bachelor" because it's what they like, or is it because there's nothing better on?

Narcissism is celebrated in these shows, and an unfortunate effect is that it glorifies materialism.

It makes me wonder why TV producers can't produce more shows like "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," which rehabs the homes of deserving people.

Here are shows I'd like to see.

"Queer Eye for the Crooked Guy": Here the Fab Five have a bigger mission than teaching a frat-boy how to pick fine wine. They have to turn corporate swindlers and embezzlers into honest businessmen.

"Extreme Personality Makeover": In this program, people who are selfish or vain work with counselors and therapists to figure out why they behave that way, then construct a plan to change.

"Ridiculous Millionaire": In this show, the contestant who has the best philanthropic project idea gets $1 million - but must spend it on the project.

There's more. Well worth reading.