The "entertainment" offered by television will continue to suck, even as the mid-season a replacements are aired. Color us all so surprised.

First up:

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search" aims to whet appetites, at least among the male demo.

This may just win the "lamest concept of the year" award.

But "The Will" presents a wealthy, 73-year-old rancher looking to name someone to inherit his large Kansas spread. The pack of 10 friends and family members who compete for the honor -- and what a scuzzy and/or silicone-enhanced crowd they are! -- could make you lose your appetite.

Go ahead. Tell me you really believe these shows are about "reality."

Also in the "scraping the bottom of the barrel" department, television is now making television about how to make television.

Situation: Comedy.

For writers, producers, and television executives it's a nerve-racking time where ideas are passionately pitched, made, and the next big hits must be found. Yet outside the industry, the painstaking process that goes into making a "Friends" is relatively unknown ? until now. "Pilot Season," a ten episode series, will bring viewers into the world of television production as the search for the hottest undiscovered writing talent begins.

Yep, it's yet another "reality" show concept.

I'm skipping most of those ddescriptions...which means I'm able to skip most of the mid-season offerings. There are "reality" shows about fashion, cooking, makeovers, dating, magicians, hidden cameras, newlyweds, boxers, and other nightmares, all queuing up for your attention.

I'm also passing by, with eyes averted, from the flood of FBI- and CIA-themed shows, including the one with the trigger-happy agent who shares his house with his family, an alien with attitude, and a talking goldfish. What the television industry needs is more drug-free workplaces.

Most everyone also has a little of the devil -- but not like Christina Nickson, the winsome teen whose parents are a mortal woman and the devil himself. She's the heroine of a new drama, "Point Pleasant," which, might be described as the spawn of "The O.C." and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

I'm still waiting to hear the point.

An exercise in teen-scream hokum, "Point Pleasant" is named for the small but oversexed New Jersey seaside town

Ah. Teenage girls and sex. That must be it.

Production has begun in Rome on "Empire," a sweeping new limited drama series from the executive producers of the Academy Award-winning "Chicago." The period drama focuses on Julius Caesar's nephew, Octavius, who is forced into exile after Caesar's murder, and a fictional disgraced gladiator, Tyrannus, who has sworn to protect him.

I always like a good period drama. I may also try Rome.

the saga of two ordinary roman soldiers and their families in 51 b.c.

But I may not.

Less appealing are some of the other soon-to-be-burnt offerings in production:

The women are sexy, empowered, and their exuberance is impossible to resist.

Sounds very contemporary, until you read that these are the employees of a secret "burlesque" club. That is...it's a strip club. But, you see, it's in the "old tradition" which I think is meant to imply was somehow a superior way of getting nekkid so you could be ogled by desperate strangers or something.

There will be yet another Law & Order spin-off. Seems it wasn't enough to destroy West Wing, they've decided to push this tiresome concept just a little further. Color me so surprised to see that this one will feature storylines rrrrripped! from the headlines (I am so sick of hearing that phrase), making it just another tiresome clone.

(Also? Let's hear some hisses, boos, and tomatoes tossed toward ABC which has, on a "someday" schedule, an idea to make a show about the first female inhabitant of the Oval Office. Unlike that tedious West Wing, though, this show will be about her family life, not her job. Because no one cares what a female President does at work, no. They want to know how her husband copes.)

An Americanized version of the U.K. hit The Office is in production. Unthrilled <-- That's me.

In Revelations, Bill Paxton will be wasted as a scientist who finds religion. No word on what the second episode will be about.

Left Behind has been confirmed as a starter for the mid-season.

Primetime television audiences will be riveted when they experience the thriller that has engaged millions of readers in the popular novel series "Left Behind," where in one cataclysmic moment, millions around the world disappear.

Apparently it's based on an apocalyptic book or series of books. Can't tell if it's about biblical apocalypse or something else. Don't much care.

And, for anyone who cares, William Shatner apparently did not write, direct, produce, and star in an original movie, "Invasion Iowa." It was a trick played on the inhabitants of a small, Iowa town so that they could be turned into "reality show" participants.

One of the things I'd planned to do this winter was to weed out my over-full bookcases. Now...I think I'm going to need all the reading material I can lay my hands on.