Today, in e-mail:

Them:
"The Exchange server has been stabilized - The hardware is working and has been moved into the closet."

Me:
"Perhaps if you let the hardware out of the closet and assured it that we love it no matter what lifestyle choice it makes, it would be less prone to throwing little tantrums?"

______

Them:
"The DSL modem has been found to be extremely unstable - I called and we should have a new modem no later than Friday."

Me:
"If the DSL modem is unstable, shouldn't we consider therapy or even medication before we go to the extremes of throwing it out and replacing it with a stranger? It's our modem, after all. It's problems are our problems."

______

Them:
"The DNS info has been updated and correctly routed - There were numerous old and incorrect entries, so that was cleaned up."

Me:
"I can't help but feel it's a mistake to try and erase our history. You can't run away from who you were. We should, instead, attempt to come to terms with our past, to accept our failings, and to learn from them. It is not only our success that define what we are, those things we have attempted and failed have shaped us as well."

______

Them:
"DHCP, DNS and VPN are being combined into one server"

Me:
"I venture to suggest that any little personality conflicts will not in fact be erased by this new togetherness. Perhaps, instead, we should allow each element a measure of time when it is allowed to go off on its own? Some down time when it isn't under pressure to conform and align itself with competing systems? This might alleviate some of the current conflicts."

Technobabble. Bah.