One of the advantages (and there are many) to reemployment is that I can once again indulge myself in the random purchase of oddball magazines.

The latest is a little gem called Eye Spy* and it's a doozy. Subtitled, "The Fascinating World of Intelligence," and published in the U.K., it claims to be an independent investigative and reporting organ only. For, you know, global intelligence gathering. A sort of National Enquirer for spies, I think. At least, reading the stories, they have that sort of "over the top" feel to them.

On page 13, I stumbled across an amusing little article called, "The Secret American Government Bunker." Code-named "Project Greek Island" and supposedly inaugurated in 1957 by "the Eisenhower Administration" (Why so coy, fellas? Was it The Man himself or a junior clerk with too much time on her hands and a convenient Presidential signature rubber stamp?), we're told that this ultra-secret installation (the whereabouts of which was revealed by the Washington Post a decade ago) is located in West Virginia. If we can believe it, under the Greenbriar Hotel.

From the photo, I can verify that the Greenbriar is more than an East Coast Area 57. It's a gorgeous, sprawling building complex more reminiscent of an English country house than your local Motel 6. This is a place that didn't need a Secret Government Bunker to justify its existence. It's, if not palatial, at least Ducal.

Anyhow. That's beside the point.

After construction (1959-62) on The Bunker was complete, it was reportedly spacious enough to house the entire U.S. Congress and their families with sleeping quarters for a thousand, plus the usual Cold War features like oxygen generators, power supplies, stored food, etc.

Sadly, we're told that Bush-league George's recent order establishing a rotating shadow government working out of this facility has encountered a few snags. Apparently someone forgot to place the order for 1,000 copies of Microsoft's Millenium Edition OS and the computers in The Bunker have been found to be "several generations" out of date. Also, in spite of offering the amenity of an underground lake, the place was found to be woefully short of phone lines. (I don't know about government employees, but if I can't check my personal e-mail frequently during the workday, I go into withdrawal. And going swimming won't make it all better.)

What's the good of a Shadowy Government Facility where someone has to run hand-written messages up to the hotel front desk every ten minutes? As for passing information to The Bunker, forget it. Have you ever tried to get a hotel front desk to deliver a fax in under an hour?

The part I liked best about the article was the solemn claim that a dummy company was created to "maintain secrecy" about The Bunker's operations and the government employees of said company functioned "as a concessionaire" to the hotel, providing auto/video[sic] support to the hotel upon request.

That's the point at which you're sure the article is a fake. Government employees don't do anything upon request.

Except that it's true.

Coincidentally, or serendipitiously, I was watching A&E last night and lo and behold, a new series titled, "Mansions, Monuments, and Masterpieces" covered the Greenbriar among other structures. And, yes, they mentioned The Bunker. We even got to see parts of it. Apparently the super-secret installation was declassified in 1995, making Eye Spy's article a bit out of date, to say the least. Although I do have to admit that I'm now wondering where the new Bunker is located.

I'm only on page 27 of the magazine. If I find anything else amusing, I promise I'll try and refrain from babbling about it.

Well, no, I don't. I'll babble if I darned well feel like it.

*I should point out that the magazine publishing info page strictly forbids copying any of the material or lending anyone the magazine, so I might be bending a law here with all of my quoting. But I sort of enjoyed the warning. It adds to the air of spurious secrecy that gives the magazine its charm.