I know, it's mean to make fun of bad writing, but I can't resist. And I don't really care.

- - "Hammond fought to reveal his smile."

(I can't begin to imagine who or what he was fighting with. The Tooth Fairy?)

-- "Nakedness might ensure, maybe not."

There's really nothing to add to that, is there?

Under the heading of story descriptions that do not tempt me to read the actual story, I found:

- - "Amish Jim and hippie drifter Blair save each other."

Amish? Jim? Right now I'm giving thanks that I don't read AUs.

- - "Heartache and poignant discovery brought on by a news announcement."

Way to telegraph the entire plot, kid.

And take a look at this one:

- - "this is a futuristic scifi action / adventure tale featuring significant
- - jim and blair h/c, carnage, profanity, somewhat kinky sex play and
- - kickass!blair. angst abounds. melodrama abounds. read or not accordingly."

Presumably there was a shortage on kitchen sinks that day. And capital letters.

This line from another story kind of surprised me:

- - "There was so much he didn't know, where he was, how he'd gotten
- - there, why no one came."

In a slash story, everyone usually comes repeatedly. Even improbably. It might be worth trying one where no one comes at all.

Under the heading of, "things that really aren't erotic, we find,

- - "He could already feel his lover's hot erection fighting the demin of his pants."

I find myself distracted by the picture of what a weenie must look like with a little boxing glove on the end. Hee. Hee. Yes, I'm twelve.

Still, men whose dicks try and duke it out with a zipper are usually sorry, so I feel badly for the guy's lover.

As the opening line to a story, I can't say that I think this really grabs me:

- - "Albert Eberts walked down the hall of the agency; he was sorting through - - some files, not looking where his was going."

If you have to have typos, the first and the last line of a story are the last places you want them.

On the other hand, the next few lines weren't much better and offer a bluntly staccato approach to narrative style that would be hard to read much of . Take a look:

- - Someone ran into Eberts and all his files fell to the floor.

- -
- - It was none other than Arnaud de Fohn!

All emphasis belongs to the author. Be grateful I'm not inflicting any, "de Fohn! de Fohn!" jokes on you.

- - "Mulder responded by wrapping his fingers around the cloth-encased cock
- - and pulling sharply."

I don't know whether to make a sausage joke or to wince in sympathy for the pullee, here.

More random badness:

- - A wrong address would open the dam of their problem to the world.

- - Krycek pressed into him again, making the change in contour all
- - the more apparent, as the fabric-blunted bulge of his erection
- - scraped against Spender's buttocks.

Insert note to the effect that the words, "scrape" and "erection" do not, in combination, conjure up any comfortable sensations. Please don't write and ask me what change in contour was so apparent because it wasn't.

Let's finish up with Harry Potter.

- - “You, Weasley, are not one to be speaking of learning
- - anything, as your expertise in that area is severely lacking,”
- - Severus snarled.

I think that's enough for today, don't you? We wouldn't want to spoil our appetites.