Eye Spy Again

The new issue of Eye Spy is out!

Hmmm. We learn that once upon a time the Queen Mother responded to the news that a military coup was planned in some unnamed country with the remark, "not now dear, the time is not quite right." No coup ensued. No additional information was provided.

We also learn of a spy accustomed to use a bush on Hampstead Heath as a dead letter box. Imagine his embarrassment when autumn arrived, the leaves dropped off, and he was forced to find an alternative hiding place for his stolen secrets.

Apparently it's a slow month in the spy biz.

In the, "gosh, I wish I'd thought of that one first" department, it was revealed that plans for a devastating secret weapon were once under consideration in Penrith, U.K. The idea was to take a tank and mount upon it a highly specialized machine that would—wait for it—shine a bright light in the enemy's eyes.

A really bright light.

I'm guessing the Huns weren't equipped with Ray Bans.

This month, the best part of the magazine was the ads.

Eagle Eye Associates has "a specialist team of television researchers and investigators available for assignments (National and International)." They boast an impressive if confusing collection of skills.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but after appearing on a lecture tour, I'm assuming that their value as infiltrators would be significantly impaired?

Maybe not.

Another intriguing ad reads:

I have no idea what that means but I strongly suspect a CIA entrapment set-up. If I get really bored, I'll go check the yahoo group and report back. (If I never reappear, you'll know I was right.)

What I need is a trip to Tattered Cover.* I'll bet they have some seriously oddball magazines.

*For those of you not living in the center of civilization, TC is a world-famous, 4-story, independently owned bookstore that sucks at least a C-note out of my pocket every time I so much as drive by. It's my spiritual home and my ambition in life is to move in and spend all day, every day there.