I am so not into working today.

Anyone who doesn't read the Arcata Eye Police Logs is missing one of the best sites on the net.

11:46 p.m. Its novelty perhaps exhausted, a shaggy black three-legged dog was let loose in the 1800 block of G Street. An officer picked it up and placed it in the Corp Yard holding pen. So there, in a concrete and steel cell, the dog laid his confused head down on his curled tripod, alone in the dark night of abandonment.

Monday, August 5 2:18 a.m. Dogs went nuts, barking all over the neighborhood of Eastern and Lincoln avenues for reasons which must have made very good sense to them but which completely eluded human investigators.

7:33 p.m. Freaks were reported bothering people with the audacity to have actual lives on the south side of an I Street cooperative supermarket.

11:05 a.m. A mobile hallucination-vending facility allegedly set up shop in the 1100 block of Seventh Street in the form of a Chevy van from which shady figures asked passersby, "Hey, ya wanna buy some [drugs]?" Occupants were arrested on a warrant and charges of possession of a syringe and controlled substances. All in all, it seems like the whole idea was pretty stupid.

Sunday, July 28 10:35 a.m.
In fields off Samoa protruded
A traveler, stark raving nuded
Some cops said good morning
Then issued a warning
The pasture-ized naturalist scooted.

Maybe I'll go live in Arcata the next time I want to run away from life.

1:11 p.m. We needn't inquire as to what came before or after. It's enough to know, from the APD dispatcher log, that "The possum was picked up."