Hee. McSwain joins me in my ranting about the various idiocies in fandom! Stand up and protest, people! You have nothing to lose but your pain!

Sigh. I've been sick.

Six days of fever, sore throat, headache, sinus congestion, and a host of other symptoms that I'll spare you. I've been in pacing-the-floor, wringing-my-hands pain and suffering from collapsed-in-a-chair, moaning-feebly fevered chills and hot flashes. My head hurt. My ear hurt. My throat hurt. I couldn't eat. I was so dehydrated that I couldn't drink enough water to satisfy my body. I couldn't stay awake and didn't sleep well when I was asleep.

I have been very unhappy and I fully expect to feel waves of belated but sincere sympathy rolling my way.

(You don't have to write. Some form of telepathy will do.)

Today, thanks to the miracle of miracle drugs (which I finally wised up enough to go to the doctor and get some of) I'm actually thinking I might rejoin the land of the human sometime later this week. I am not well and I do fully realize that anyone with half a brain would still be home in bed, but I have a plan and I'm sticking to it.

A plan, I might add, that those who continue to insist they like me while simultaneously destroying my brain cells, are doing nothing to further by sharing with me the news that some moron actually wrote a Harry Potter/SG-1 crossover. Or that someone else wrote a "Harry Potter meets Jim Ellison in a leather bar" story. (Presumably they shared bottoming techniques but I do not want to know and if anyone tells me, I'm taking out a contract on them.)

Nor is the news that this string of dismayingly stupid words:

Vaelen peered out from his shield. In a defiant smile, he said, "In the words of my hosts' people, 'Nanny nanny boo boo.'"

Don't torment me with this stuff, okay? I'm not strong enough right now. I have a ruptured eardrum, I'm still running a slight temperature, and if I move too fast, I still get dizzy. Have some pity.

Last week was Fall Television Premiere Week. I wonder if it's a coincidence that I tried a number of new shows this year and wound up at the end of the week in a high fever?

I knew the Tim Curry vehicle, Family Affair had DISASTER tattooed all over it but we watched the premiere anyhow, to see the preview of the new Harry Potter movie, which was amazing. The show itself was inexcusably painful.

Push, Nevada was a show that I had some vague hopes for but it turned out to be a lackluster rip-off of Twin Peaks. I mean, okay, it was advertised as a new sort of Twin Peaks, but lacking the amazing music, the intriguing characters, and the memorable sets of its progenitor, I doubt that Push is going to last long. It's trying far too hard and the cracks were showing by the end of the first 30 minutes. Of course, they might hit their stride in a few episodes, but I won't be there watching if they do.

Lackluster is also a good word to describe the new Twilight Zone. I don't remember ever yawning when I watched the original.

CSI: Miami debuted last night to something less than the critical acclaim that was expected for it. I'll say the same thing I said last spring. They need to get rid of whatshisname, the guy who used to be on that cop show, and replace him with a character, and an actor, who brings something new and solid to the mix.

Among the things I didn't try were any of the new sitcoms about how funny family life is. I always feel that my grown up and childless state excuses me from having to sit through any of that crap. We did try a few minutes of Everwood, not because we liked the premise but because it was supposedly set in Colorado and we thought seeing some familiar scenery might be fun. Silly us. Naturally it was filmed in Canada or Nova Scotia or Greenland or something. We won't be turning that one on again, either. Next to stupid family comedies, I think I loathe sappy family dramas most.

And then there's Firefly, Joss Whedon's much-ballyhooed SF outing. I thought some of the characters were too predictably what I expected they would be when I read the character descriptions, but I'll admit that I wasn't in any condition to enjoy subtle nuances by Friday night so I might have missed something significant. But I did like it. A lot, and I'm looking forward to seeing it again. From the BtVS discussions I've followed over the years (I don't actually watch the show), I know that Mr. Whedon can be relied upon not to pull an X-Files and just abandon his original concept in two or three years. He's known for character development, backstory, creative plots, and smacking you with the unexpected just when you think you have his characters all figured out. I'm looking forward to this journey.

So, when you consider that I picked up both Monk and Dead Zone this summer, and that I have the return of CSI and West Wing to look forward to, I'll be watching five hours of television a week this year! I can't remember how long it's been since I watched that much television regularly.

One day last week a very attractive if young ATT rep showed up at our door to tell us that the joys of broadband connection could be ours for only about $45 a month! When you consider what we currently pay for AOHell and our second phone line (neither of which will be needed in the future), it's a bargain.

And for some reason, that makes me realize that it's now 10:04 and I've only spent ten minutes out of the last three hours working. I think it's time to give the company a little of my time.