Naughty Boys

Something I find amusing although I shouldn't is the saga of the U.K.'s royals.

Like many in the (former) Colonies, I'm something of an Anglophile but I hadn't thought much about the Windsors until the subject of fish-faced Charles's engagement to Diana Spencer hit the news. While not succumbing to the temptation to fixate on the Princess of Wales's career and tragic death, I have followed the ins and outs of the Windsor lifestyle in a casual fashion.

All of which verbiage is leading to the fact that the UK's Guardian has printed a scorecard of who's who in the latest scandal, for those who haven't been following closely.

Another article offers a Who's Who of a few of the participants.

It's all the more amusing to a mystery aficionado to realize that the butler, a gay, old dog by most accounts, might have done it!

Done what?

Practically everything, except steal items from Diana's estate, a charge of which he wascleared by the Queen's belated memory of his having informed her he was removing some items from the palace for safekeeping (and, yes, there's an allegation she did it For The Family and not because it was true).

Other than that, "his own enemies, who include a former (male) Australian lover and the divorced gay comedian, Michael Barrymore, insist that the butler - who is married, with two children - is himself untrustworthy, having airbrushed a strenuous-sounding gay past from his CV which doesn't seem to be connected with the recent accusation of homosexual rape one male staff member has brought against another ( Now, it may be possible, as Mr Smith claims, to be anally raped while asleep – though an unlubricated entry into your virgin back passage is the kind of thing you would wake up for, I'd have thought, even if you had overdone the Bollinger. ") and allegations that smuggling gay, male prostitutes into the palace was a regular occurrence.

Anyhow.

There's missing treasure, or maybe blackmail material, it's hard to say, possible previous knowledge on the part of the queen (who, after one reputed orgy somehow involving a substantial quantity of gay porn and a royal yacht, is said to have advised Burrell, the aforementioned butler, that he should consider marriage because in the UK all men are gay but the respectable ones get married and no doubt it's coincidental that there's a rumor of evidence as to some kind of monarchy-destroying hijink on the part of one Royal who was apparently sighted by the butler! in a "compromising position" with a staff member with the insinuation that we're talking hot, man-on-man loving with an insinuation in a different article that it's the much-discussed Prince Edward being referred to although it could be the Queen and someone, I guess) as to some of the shenanigans and I don't know what-all else.

There are also minor revelations of life beside the crown including Di's penchant for getting the butler! to buy nudie magazines for her oldest son (in an article titled, ""Porn with a silver spoon""), which round out the magnitude of this particular melt-down, as does the news that Diana was in the habit of sending people off to sell her old clothes so she could scoop in some cash.

Prince Charles has ordered an "internal review" so I'd imagine this story isn't over yet.

It's been amusing me, okay? I have a slight head cold and I'm entitled to laugh at people to make myself feel better.