Actually, nothing of the sort, but I can never resist alliteration.

So...what about these demons, anyhow?

(Is there anyone here unaware of the fact that we're discussing Spike BtVS? Good.)

So, we got yer standard vampire demons, we got some slimy ones with tentacles, we got the friendly, bar-hopping, wedding-attending ones, we got the about to be spawned and start wreaking havoc big baddies variety, we got the vengeance demons, and we got the drag some assembly-line fodder down to our level of hell demons. What else?

I think that's all I've seen so far except Whistler, who is clearly in a different category and while I'm full of speculation on how he got his job and if he's up for promotion and just exactly how much advance information he gets and from whom, that's really a whole, separate topic and I'm trying to be a lot more linear today.

What other kinds of demons are there? If there can be a demon like Anya who is under a geas to fulfill vengeance-related wishes of women, is there a similar demon that works on behalf of men?

What other purposes do demons exist to fulfill? How much energy does it take from an infuriated population to spawn a demon inspired to act on people's wishes? (Or, in fact, is that how vengeance demons came into being at all?)

Why are there demons dedicated to fulfilling wishes, even naughty ones? What other kinds of wishes can be granted?

Are there demons running around under compulsions to rend limb from limb those thieves who steal shopping carts from stores and leave them, abandoned and forlorn beside the roadway?

Is there a demon in charge of ripping the noses off of people who cut you off in traffic?

Where do all of those abandoned socks beside the road come from? Is this some kind of evidence of demonic activity? Are odd socks stolen from people who take your clothes out of the washer and throw in on the dirty laundry-room table? A sort of on-the-job training program for newbie demons*?

Clearly not. Okay, then, demons aren't somehow "created" or "inspired" by the sheer amount of negative energy people put into some pet peeve.

Maybe it's some kind of primal energy thing. Maybe all of the specialty demons were created back when the world was simpler, there were fewer people around, and there was less static interference from tens of thousands of conflicting aggravations.

Maybe it's a question of focus. Too many people getting too pissy about too many different subjects these days. I'm sure the vibrations in the ether are very confusing.

No wonder a bunch of demons are sitting in bars, swilling swill and looking lost and forlorn. They were probably slated to become vengeance demons and then found themselves in a tug of war between the people who want tailgaters to be squished in an earth mover and people wishing deboning on in-laws who don't call before dropping by.

What's a demon to do?

* Are there newbie demons? Demons-in-training? Where do they come from? Were they all present in the long-ago beginning and have they been hiding ever since, coming out occasionally to chomp a neck or did they somehow get trapped in one of the many versions of hell and have they been leaking out of the hellmouth and/or other places ever since?

Can you draw a pentagram and summon up a demon and if you do, do they really have to do your bidding? Because the kitchen floor at my place is a disgrace and I'm just not in the mood for mopping, okay?

I'm assuming there are greater and lesser demons. Certainly most of the vamps we've seen have been lesser demons. I mean, I can't imagine any truly big, bad evil being content to lurk in bushes and take a chance on a fresh meal wandering by. They'd organize a buffet and have a raffle or something.

There's not much luring going on, is there? In most vamp mythology the vamps have some kind of hypnotic power. It's probably just as well that BtVS didn't go that route.

Some demons, as we've discussed before (okay, I discussed it and you tried not to listen), are more proactive than others. Is this a product of the human being they infest or a reflection of the demon personality itself?

If it's a reflection of the human being, then all of that about the "person" being dead and what's left just being a shell of personality inhabited by evil doesn't make much sense. Plus which, is there's no "person" in the "person" then surely you'd be able to tell that by looking in their eyes if it was a friend or loved one? Although, admittedly, most people don't look closely at those they've known for a long time.

Of course, it could be the demon's personality, which begs the question of why there are so many lackadaisical demons boogying around. Hell must be a seriously boring place if they're content to lurk around Sunnydale after dark for thrills. So far, beyond the biting thing, I haven't seen many vamps doing much with their time. A lot of loitering, that's all.

Spike's explanation of most vamps not really wanting Armageddon still makes sense, but beyond that, what motivates your average vampire? Is it nothing more than the next meal?

Next time: What was all of that about the big evil being a "demon" instead of a "demon-human hybrid"? Why are we having a lot of inferior demons palmed off on us? Did we fail to pay our bills on time? How do we get in line for the first-class product?

And what happens to the demon when you stake the vamp? Is it dead-dead, or is it sent back to hell to try again, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars?

P.S. Did you notice that I didn't drool about Spike at all? I'm trying not to jinx it...tonight I just may finally get the episode where he gets kidnapped and gets the chip stuck in his head, so that I'll finally understand exactly how all of that happened. So I'm trying not to annoy fate....