I remain entirely amused by the way people consider fanfiction an internet phenomenon. Apparently the reams and reams and reams of stuff written in the 70s and 80s and 90s (yes, offline fanfiction is real, Virginia) has no real existence.

I also remain amused by the way these articles always carefully fail to mention things like the constant stream of "Sherlock Holmes" stories that have come out in the last ninety years because, of course, that's not fanfiction because someone got paid to write it and those are professionals and not just, you know, someone writing. (The fact that some fanfic authors get paid for their stories seems, still, to be a secret.)

And there's the obligatory titillation about Kirk/Spock. If this were still the 30s or 40s, we might all be writing things like a certain famous, "Was Watson a Woman?" (or whatever the exact title was, it's been a million years since I read it) but it's not, so we're speculating in today's daring new field which is all about single-gender relationships and I think it's okay that K/S, the fandom that brought slash out of the closet, is used to define "that kind of thing" in fandom. It's better than the alternative which is most of the XF or the underage S&M HP stuff that's out there.

And, of course, there's the obligatory self-congratulatory author who, at the ripe, old age of 18 has no problem declaring herself as one of fandom's most prolific authors.

I don't even need to search her out to know her stuff is going to suck.

(Why is it that 98 percent of the time, those congratulating themselves publicly on their writing prowess are those whose work falls among the two percent worst stuff out there? Why is it that 90 percent of those who swear they'll never write again if they don't get feedback telling them how wunnerful their sh*t is are the ones who write the least coherent, least readable, least interesting, most half-assed stories on the 'net?

But I refuse to get sidetracked by that because I've ranted about it ad nauseum (sp?) in the past and today's topic is a different one.)

I'm never sure exactly what these articles are trying to accomplish. Do each of these 'journalists' discover fanfiction all on their little own and bring it out like a shiny, new toy to share with the public or what? Are they, in some way we aren't privy to, related to or desirous of sleeping with one or more of the 'authors' they interview? Are they in desperate need of quickly written copy fifteen minutes before a crucial deadline?

Anyhow. I think by now both of you well know my opinion of the havoc the internet has wrought in fandom.

Too much, too fast. Every idiot with a keyboard decided they were entitled to an opinion, no matter how manifestly insane said opinion was. Every dittohead with experience of viewing two or three episodes decided they were a 'writer' and shoveled their half-baked debris onto the 'net.

(Even I did it and I promise you that had the process involved anything more strenuous than staring vacantly at a wall while my fingers did the walking, I would never have involved myself in the process. And I wasn't the only one.)

The highway of fandom is littered with the carcasses of those who labored under the illusion that they could write and the road-kill piles higher every day. Were it not for the inexhaustible supply of cannon fodder (way to mix a metaphor, there, gir), I might cherish hopes that some day a balance would return and that those few, gifted writers who possess such rare attributes as the ability to tell a coherent story and spell the characters' names correctly might return to the ascendant but, alas, I suspect that that will never be.

I should point out that I'm not actually in a bad mood today (regardless of references to 'road kill' that were inspired by a certain doggish author that those who need to know will identify without further clues).

I'm working on my syntax problem, I promise you. Having recently seen someone strip four pages of my (non-fiction) prose down to a terse four paragraphs, I have come to accept that I have a problem.

That's the first step, right? Admitting that you're powerless over grammar and that you need The Manual of Style?

I do, in fact, know people who could help. I know the kind of people who know, I mean actually know the rules for when you hyphenate "on site" and when you don't. It was explained to me and has something to do with a noun but I wasn't really listening so I can't pass the education along.

I even know people who not only know but who could, if asked, explain to me whether or not I'd spelled ad nauseum correctly and offer six interpretations, both literal and figurative, together with footnotes documenting famous usages of the phrase in classical literature.

There are times, not many because I’m an egomaniac, but there are times when I wonder why some of the people who let me hang out with them let me hang out with them.

That sentence might have needed another comma. I know people who would know.

The old diet is going well today, which might account for the improvement in my mood since yesterday. This morning's pre-dawn weigh-in (my favorite, since it's the lowest I ever see) was mighty-fine, indeed. According to the scale, I've lost an impressive 13-1/2 pounds since August 19. My jeans are definitely loose today. And baggy in the butt, which is less pleasing. These stupid jeans are almost new.

Still, the whole diet thing is a drag and my roommate and I have agreed that it's time we put an ending date on it. She's stopping 10/20. I'm stopping 10/24 because she had a four-day head start on me when we started. Then it's the whole "stabilization and maintenance" process which goes on for I don't know how long and then I'll be free.

Not free to eat the way I used to do but at least free from the tyranny of weighing out a careful two ounces of tuna for lunch or a scant one ounce of chicken for dinner on a daily basis.

I intend to go wild. I'll eat Mexican and consume six, eight, or even ten tortilla chips without guilt. I'll have a side-salad before my Italian meal and consume the restaurant's delicious oil-and-vinegar dressing without shame. One evening, when I'm hungry, I'll go to the kitchen and grab a handful of crackers and I won't even count them. And one day I'll just go out and eat barbecue without planning three days in advance to "save" enough calories to allow me to have six, uninterrupted bites.

Totally wild and crazy.

It's one of the "sad but true" facets of getting older that one's rebellions become so small. So completely trivial. It's hard to imagine that the woman currently plottingmto eat four whole ounces of sausage at one sitting, once participated in a vocal (but non-violent) protest against the KKK.

Does life move to a smaller scale as one ages? Does the weight of years of experience teach one to accept a lessened sphere of influence? Does the magnitude of the world and its problems become too much for one to bear after a space of decades?

Is one inevitably to wind up speaking of oneself in the third person or is that a pretentious affectation adopted by just a few?

It's true, though. People who once wanted to change the world become content with owning two pairs of comfortable shoes so they can change them whenever they want.

It's hard to know if we scale back our expectations, become calloused to the world's ills, or just get bored with it all.

I know my generation started out with Vietnam and Richard Nixon then lived through Reagan and Iran-Contra, so even the current ills of our society and the venality of those in charge are more "business as usual" to us than outrages to be fought with passion and conviction.

Doggone it, I'm in a good mood and before I get back to accomplishing at least one of the many things I intended to do while Alvin is out of town, I am determined to spread a little cheer around the world.

Actually, I'm hungry at the moment. I'm having an extra supplement. They say if you get hungry, don't eat snacks (unless it's lettuce or celery), just have an extra supplement and it will actually make you lose weight faster. We'll see. This morning's supplements were cappuccino and mocha hot chocolate. Right now I'm having one that tastes like grape kool-aid. I have to admit that they did a good job of making this stuff taste good.

I'm still working on a cheerful thought but I'll have to get back to you on it.