I am just aggravated today, that's all. I spent the morning in a meeting which, while tedious, shouldn't have been aggravating. But it was.

We spend two hours viewing a new version of a software program, my boss says the people installing tomorrow should install the new version of the program, I ask the new guys if they can provide me with a download URL and a product key so the client can download and install the new version of the program...and the conversation goes weird.

They want to "revisit it later" in the conversation, even though the meeting is ending, they discuss burning a CD but, no, we don't want 'interim' CDs floating around, they dance around the question and eventually...well, that was two hours ago and I have no idea when or how I might get my hands on a copy of the new version of the software for the client to install tomorrow.

In the meantime, of course, I've been doing my job so I sent the client the URL for the then current version of the software and the product key two weeks ago, when we scheduled this install. And, since the IT person is on vacation and won't be back in her office until tomorrow, I can't even call her and explain quite frankly that our developers have gone on a mental safari and I don't have the right version of the software available.

Grrr.

I sweat blood getting these clients to attend net meetings to view the software functionality, I fight my way through the administrative and IT departments and get permission for them to use the software, I coordinate with their nightmare calendars to get installations scheduled, and then less than 24 hours before the installation, everyone here seems to think there's no problem with just telling the client we won't have anything for them until next week or something. I have no idea what they expect me to say.

I'm supposed to be in another meeting at the moment (same group, different project) but I decided I was tired of looking at them.

Pisses me off.

I bailed on the second meeting, but now I'm sitting here realizing there's no point in calling anyone on my call list because I have no idea when I'll be able to schedule installations for them. I have two weeks to get 30 more installs done and something tells me I'm not going to make it.

Partly though, I'm puzzled. People like working with me. It's practically my only skill, the ability to get along with a wide variety of people in a work environment. I'm flexible, cooperative, understanding, and accommodating without being a doormat. It's not an inconsiderable skill.

And yet, I'm completely failing to establish any kind of rapport with this one group and I can't figure out why.

Buehler says, "install this tomorrow" and they're sitting there, listening to him say it.

I say, "What URL should I give them?"

Not only do they not give me the URL, Buehler sits there and listens to them not giving it to me and says nothing. It's like…not to be paranoid, but it's like there's this secret agenda that everyone but me knows about. There's something I'm not getting and for some reason, no one will just speak up and tell me what it is.

Also I was contacted by someone and (long story short) I'm supposed to be writing an intelligent, thought-provoking essay and posting it by tomorrow and I not only haven't started writing, I haven't figured out what I could or should write about. Also, I should have started days ago. It takes a long time and a lot of editing to make me seem intelligent.

I'm not at my sharpest when aggravated. Also, I'm busy. I have a net meeting in an hour to set up everything a vendor needs in order to do another meeting with us tomorrow.

I'm in a bad mood, that's all. Could be PMS, I guess.