Heh. That should make blogging more fun. I found a sexy picture of Mac and Vic and stuck it in the template document I use for blogging. Now every time I open the document, they're there, looking at me. (I've opened and closed this document fifteen times today. Sixteen.)

It strikes me as odd that when I first saw the show, I was more-or-less indifferent to Mac but now I find him really adorable. Actors and characters can grow on you, I guess.

Sigh. 2 oz roasted chicken, 1/2 tomato, and 1 small apple do not a thrilling lunch make. I keep telling myself that if I hadn’t gorged on bags of potato chips and chocolates this summer, I wouldn't be in this position now, but I keep answering that I don't give a hoot and I want some chip-and-dip or the lizard gets it.

(I don't know what lizard, okay? That's just what came out when my fingers typed that sentence and it's the first I’m aware of the existence of a lizard in my life. I sometimes wonder who's living in my brain besides me and if they're having more fun than I am. The lizard thing could go either way.)

I've been asked to explain myself. It seems that when y'all putter on over here to read this blog, you're having a teensy bit of trouble distinguishing between "this s*cks" when I mean I can't remember the adjective that starts with 'a' and has a 'd' in it that precisely covers what I wanted to say in that line; and "this s*cks" when I mean some scene is proving to be really hard to write because I'm not exactly sure what should happen in it; and "this s*cks" when I mean, "this s*cks, bl*ws, and refuses to sw*ll*w."

Actually, I'm a bit embarrassed by that last one, but if you're going to talk (and write) slash, I guess it's a bit prissy to be squeamish about such expressions. (But I went back and removed the vowels after it occurred to me that fifteen repetitions of the word "s*cks" would probably draw a lot of the wrong kind of traffic, so now it looks all squeamish and stuff and this entire paragraph is ridiculous.)

(For the record, a generic, "my writing s*cks" means, in all cases, that I've been unable to achieve the precise balance between Jane Austen and P. G. Wodehouse that is my imaginary ideal. When you consider how little the writing of those two has in common, you might suspect that I've set an impossible standard for anyone, much less myself, but I'd remind you that it does no good to set goals any chimpanzee with a keyboard can reach.)

I was working on a glossary for you. A sort of Scale O'S*ckage the concerned reader could use to interpret my various complaints about my writing, but I've given that up. For one thing, who cares, you know? For another, it was too hard.

I mean, "this s*cks" pretty much covers me emotionally for all of the above problems. I feel the same way about a story that refuses to deliver erotically as I do about a story that lacks that ineffable but, to me, perfect adjective. I might put slightly more heat behind "it s*cks" when it's situation (a) as opposed to (b), but there's little other difference.

In my mind, something is either right, or it s*cks. There's just not a lot of room in between the two options.

(If you type it often enough, "s*cks" starts to look like the right way to spell that word.)

Also it's starting to look as though actually writing the story is going to be easier than thinking about it any more. I may try the experiment tonight. I'll just write and not care about what I'm writing. Verbiage, sheer word count, is the easiest thing to create. You are, after all, limited only by the number of hours in a day and the extent to which you're prepared to tolerate writer's cramp. I'll just jam down whatever debris my brain spits up and try to fix it later.

(This didn't work the only other time I tried it, but I'm basically an optimist.)

You know, a lizard could totally work in a story. An iguana worked in that NCIS episode. It's tricky...it's a very visual joke and I'm not a visual writer, but it could work. Or I could save the iguana. I have another story idea (not OaT) that needs another weird gimmick like it needs another vowel.

Okay...now I'm just babbling.